Monday, October 13, 2008

Monday Morning Shit Storm

Missouri Texas hate week style.

In the spirit of sportsmanship, this week's storm will have two components.

The Texas part:

Texans have an interesting fashion style. They like to wear "cowboy" attire to various formal events. While every single thing they wear looks stupid, there is one component I hate the most.

Giant belt buckles? Seriously what purpose do they serve. No really I'm not getting it.

Who the hell are you? The Intercontinental champion?

Ok the Missouri Component is basically open.
There are many ways to make fun of Missouri. If you have any problems I would start with our total lack of class and flavor. Oh, there is also a large amount of Hollister wearing individuals, if that helps anyone.

Shit storm begin.


  1. Belt buckles are like cummerbunds. Fashionable, formal, and potentially statement-making.

  2. My vexation with the Lone Star state extends beyond these petty aesthetic statements by garb and various accoutrement. The devotion to the state itself is of a particular annoyance. True, while being the only state to have formerly been a country maybe a source of civic pride, it should not be voiced as loudly as the belt buckles or the "bolo necktie." We're in America, let's act like it. The entirety of the south was brought down to its for such secessionist talk.

    Missouri, having driven through your lands between St. Louis and Springfield, let me say that you are no better. There are yards that have as many cars in it as trees and flowers, and neighborhoods that make Arkansas look like Beverly Hills.

    Texas will beat Mizzou this weekend, unfortunately knocking Chase Daniel out of the Heisman discussion. This will be a large blow to portly athletes everywhere, as he was our only hope.

  3. Stovall, all of the stangs and vettes on cinder blocks will eventually be suped up.

  4. As far as portly athletes are concerned, you still have Marc Gasol, most NFL offensive linemen (except for the Denver Broncos), and all of the Charlotte Bobcats.

  5. I discovered something a little while ago, but have kept it to myself since. I am just about as proud as anybody to be from Texas, but I started reexamining the pride, and realized that while I give much respect to the history and culture, the actual place and population leaves something to be desired. Houston and Dallas, the locations of most Texanos, are some of the worst places in the world. San Antonio has mad flavor, the hill country and west Texas have beautiful landscapes, but most people don't see these things.

    I still say that Austin is on the short list of best cities in America. Say, San Fransisco, Denver, Austin. And not in that order.

  6. I would also like to say that this is all pretty flattering. I mean, everyone always hates the overdog.

    Heavy is the head that wears the crown, bitches.

  7. Do you know what's not flattering? Those dumbass cowboy hats. My grandma always said the only people who wear cowboy hats are douchebags and whores.

  8. Stovall I can't believe you are somehow trying to argue that Arkansas is better than Missouri.

    Do you really want to have that discussion?

  9. Arkansas is the only thing that keeps MO and TX from touching.

    Girls look fantastic in cowboy hats. Also, your face/neck won't get sunburnt when you wear a cowboy hat. Nobody likes sunburns.

  10. It also sounds like Grandma Lattimer is the woman from the Board Meeting in "Tommy Boy."

    "And that's when the whores come in."

  11. "Shakin' their bee-hinds for the man folk."

    And Grandma Lattimer (which I propose be Lattimer's only moniker henceforth), I'm not saying Arkansas is better than Missouri. I'm not retarded. I'm just saying that there are definitely parts of the "Show Me" State that I'd rather not see. Namely because I can't stand the sight of inbred retards. Not that Arkansas is any better, but it's not much worse.

    Now bake me some chocolate chip cookies, Grandma.

  12. I have an equal, steadfast love for both Missouri and Texas due to the fact I am from Mississippi, which is the lowest of the low. I also have to admit that I make decisions like these based on absolute flavor. With that being said, I have to side with Texas. Texas has mad flavor and I never hear anything cool about Missouri.
    "Texas Forever...Mississippi For Now."


  14. well i thinks its great but thats just a rednecks point of view