Missouri-Texas Hate Week: A Non-Partisan Aside

This pretty much sums up my thoughts on this Missouri-Texas Hate deal. Both are losers.

First of all, I had no idea there was such a steep rivalry. There really hasn't been any sort of discussion until the latter part of last year, when Mizzou actually won consecutive games. Until last year, I'd bet most people thought they played in Conference USA with the likes of Tulsa, Memphis, and St. Mary Margaret's School for the Blind. I know I sure did.

Texas, you guys are no better, but you've at least got the chops to call yourself a traditional powerhouse. You'll more than likely win this weekend, and maybe even go on to a national championship if you can get through the Meat-Grinder that is your next few weeks. But all will come crashing down once it's discovered that Colt McCoy is not Vince Young. Not-being-Vince-Young will prove to be a devastating blow to the Longhorns and result in losses to an overlooked team down the road and a Big 12 Championship letdown.

But this should still be a decent game this weekend. Both tout explosive offenses, carried by their quarterbacks. Chase Daniel is fat and Colt McCoy looks like a cartoon character, most likely Stitch from Lilo and Stitch. Texas' defense is proven (note the Oklahoma game) so I have to pick them for the victory, although an upset could be in store. But who cares? If Texas loses, then they still have a shot at a National Championship, and if not, Mizzou will finally be out of the Hunt for Miami (also the name of a popular adult film). Either way, that's the natural order of things.

Realize that I am fully aware that the only reason I am able to write about these teams is because my team isn't worth the smudge at the bottom of a trash bin that never gets cleaned because it's on the other side of the Hefty bag. If you're going to throw insults, make sure they can stick or that I care to hear them.

Perhaps Lattimer's quantity of small posts can defeat Icehouse's super-list, but frankly I just like watching these two garrulously duke it out, like a couple of shirtless individuals at a used car lot in Hot Springs, Arkansas.