Olympic Discus Tossers Blame, Pummel Those Associated with 'Ultimate,' 'Frolf'

MADISON, Wis. — The International Association of Discus Tossers has forgone levying a formal complaint with the IOC and gone straight to fist-fighting members of any associations or groups that participate in 'Ultimate Frisbee' or 'Frolf,' also known as 'Frisbee Golf.'

"I've had it up to here (lifts arm to swollen, muscular shoulder but no further) with these hippy, college punks tossing their little Frisbees hither and thither, all willy nilly," said Unger Rwowski, spokesman for the IADT as well a silver medal finalist in the '96 Atlanta games.

"It's bad enough that they don't spin around and around before they chuck," said Rwowski. "It's disgraceful and we're putting an end to it now."

Rwowski said he wouldn't comment further on the IADT's strategy while targeting the mostly college-age players of the Frisbee recreational sport, but a big bulletin board behind him spelled out the organization's plan in an all capital-letter, misspelled and three step plan:

1. FIND HIPPEEZ, DOOSHBAGS, POSERS ET AL
2. BEAT UP HIPPEEZ, MAKIN SHURE U SPIN FIST ROUND AND AROUND BEFOR PUNCHNG
3. TAKE HIPPEES GURLfriENS AND THROW STUFF

Local college campuses everywhere are taking added precautions to insuring the discus tossers are kept off of campus grasses at all times, while security is having a tough time watching the Frisbee games, as they are often spontaneous and prone to avoiding authority types.