Prank works on pussies.

If you really cared about the soccer game, would you really let a string quartet or poetry reading get in the way?

Granted, I can watch TV at work, so I'm a little impervious to this. However, with the advent of new technologies, I have undertaken experiments to use hand-held devices to get my sports in. I can't say enough good things about NBA League Pass Mobile. Furthermore, if you have a WiFi connection and a computer/smartphone/whatever, you can get through it.

Of course, I am guilty of skipping out of work to watch the 2007 Champion's League final. But that's because Buffalo Wild Wings commercials convinced me that this was acceptable behavior.

Whatever. Sack up and tell your girl/professor to eat it.

Your vacation is... how do you say? Unsexy.

Yes, yes. We have heard all about this "Spring Break" of yours. Yes, we have heard of the girls and when they go wild. But we, over here in the Mediterranean, in Croatia and Greece and Ibiza, we think that this is no sexy.

Where is your spot to go? This Gulf of Mexico? You think that it is sexy to go to the Panama City or the southern Padre Island. My friend, it is no sexy. The beer bongs, the confederate flags, and the Journey played in your pick-em-up trucks, they are no sexy. This, my friend, the yacht week. This is sexy.

Observe the sexiness. You see our blue waters, they are superior to your Gulf. Our places to party, they are better than your bars. You will see that there is no karaoke here. Karaoke is the unsexiest of the unsexy. I see a woman caterwaul and I no longer want to make the love with her. And believe me, mi amigo, I ALWAYS want to make the love. Observe my silky-smoothness. Supple, yes?

So I would like you to think of us, mon amis, when you think that you are having a sexy time in your spring break or your summer, you should think of us, and remember that you are no sexy like us.

Friday Afternoon Fun Bag!

For as much as I hate Drew Gooden (except for his brief stint in San Antonio), he gets a lot of love on GRH. I should change my opinion on him, since he's a goofball, but fuck it. Hatehatehate.

Oh yeah. It's on, now. YOYOYO FRIDAAYYYY.

So to get things started off on the right foot, here's the best 25 dunks from the 2008-2009 NBA season.

You can catch the entire top 100 here.

Andrew W.K. is a GRH favorite. Not only because of his staunch party advocacy, but because we especially like celebrity weather reports.


Here's something bizarre from Europe.

Tyson Chandler is no longer on the Hornets. Actually, now he's on our team. We're glad to have him on board.


Young Kobe Bryant + youngER Amanda Bynes. Lots of Screaming.


Our love of Ron Artest is pretty blatant. This is him recounting what happened at the "Malice at the Palace." Not crazy enough yet? Fine. He's doing it in China.


To continue the sexiness that Zack started below, here's Fanny Lu.


Yes. I'm jacked now. Let's kick some ass.

Olympic Discus Tossers Blame, Pummel Those Associated with 'Ultimate,' 'Frolf'

MADISON, Wis. — The International Association of Discus Tossers has forgone levying a formal complaint with the IOC and gone straight to fist-fighting members of any associations or groups that participate in 'Ultimate Frisbee' or 'Frolf,' also known as 'Frisbee Golf.'

"I've had it up to here (lifts arm to swollen, muscular shoulder but no further) with these hippy, college punks tossing their little Frisbees hither and thither, all willy nilly," said Unger Rwowski, spokesman for the IADT as well a silver medal finalist in the '96 Atlanta games.

"It's bad enough that they don't spin around and around before they chuck," said Rwowski. "It's disgraceful and we're putting an end to it now."

Rwowski said he wouldn't comment further on the IADT's strategy while targeting the mostly college-age players of the Frisbee recreational sport, but a big bulletin board behind him spelled out the organization's plan in an all capital-letter, misspelled and three step plan:

1. FIND HIPPEEZ, DOOSHBAGS, POSERS ET AL
2. BEAT UP HIPPEEZ, MAKIN SHURE U SPIN FIST ROUND AND AROUND BEFOR PUNCHNG
3. TAKE HIPPEES GURLfriENS AND THROW STUFF

Local college campuses everywhere are taking added precautions to insuring the discus tossers are kept off of campus grasses at all times, while security is having a tough time watching the Frisbee games, as they are often spontaneous and prone to avoiding authority types.

Friday Afternoon Fun Bag!

YEEUH! The end of the week gets me so jacked up I feel like it's time to jump off of a balcony like Tyler Hansborough! Shit yeah!

Yes in-fucking-deed we are back! Woo!

Ok, the Seattle Supersonics are undoubtedly dead, due to their gay-hating (while probably gay himself) owner, Clay Bennet. Anyways, while they were there, they made some amazing commercials starring a one Predrag Drobnjak. Seriously, are y'all seeing this shit?

Ok. Ok. Deep breaths. Alright, on another Eurotrash NBAer note, Sasha Vujacic is known as "The Machine." Apparently, he was not programmed to properly do the chest bump.

Here is something truly bizarre and unsafe from Europe.

Not sure why, but I decided to give you the best clip from "Strange Wilderness." Can't really stop laughing at this for some reason.

LeBron James listens to Barry Manilow.

Also, everybody loves puppies.

Pretty awesome Funbag if I do say so myself. Highfives around!

Mahalo, bitches!