Your vacation is... how do you say? Unsexy.

Yes, yes. We have heard all about this "Spring Break" of yours. Yes, we have heard of the girls and when they go wild. But we, over here in the Mediterranean, in Croatia and Greece and Ibiza, we think that this is no sexy.

Where is your spot to go? This Gulf of Mexico? You think that it is sexy to go to the Panama City or the southern Padre Island. My friend, it is no sexy. The beer bongs, the confederate flags, and the Journey played in your pick-em-up trucks, they are no sexy. This, my friend, the yacht week. This is sexy.

Observe the sexiness. You see our blue waters, they are superior to your Gulf. Our places to party, they are better than your bars. You will see that there is no karaoke here. Karaoke is the unsexiest of the unsexy. I see a woman caterwaul and I no longer want to make the love with her. And believe me, mi amigo, I ALWAYS want to make the love. Observe my silky-smoothness. Supple, yes?

So I would like you to think of us, mon amis, when you think that you are having a sexy time in your spring break or your summer, you should think of us, and remember that you are no sexy like us.