Boris is ready to party.
Because when you're a fat, lazy Frenchman, you may as well go shirtless, too.
This week has sucked royally. All freaking week I've been looking forward to today. And it's finally here. WOOOOOOO!
First up, we have something to fulfill everyone's aquatic bloodlust.
Next up, some innovative hicktards go waterskiing.
Moving on, if you don't like Commando, you can go get fucked. Commando rap, go!
The title to this video is quite misleading, since nobody dies, but it's still pretty fucking awesome.
And finally, although it's old, I find it hilarious. From the inimitable Uproxx, we have the 20 best 5-second movies.
Yes. YES. Dallas holds St. Patrick's day tomorrow, so I'm ready to get funky. See y'all next week.
And Lattimer will be sending out invites to our NCAA Brackets soon, so stay tuned.