Tuesday, March 2, 2010

The Many Hairstyles of Scott Pollard

When Scott Pollard was first brought to my attention I began with a google image search and was appalled by what I found. Then I realized he's the perfect example of what NOT to do style wise, so I thought I would break it down for all of you.

The Sunglasses and beard photo didn't bother me too much...until I realized that he wasn't sporting a beard at all. I'm not even sure what you call that thing, but gentlemen, stay away from it. If you're going to grow out your facial hair, go all of the way with it. Nothing in between is ever acceptable, unless your Tom Selleck. 

Then there's the Mohawk, whether black or blonde it's a no go. And not because I don't like the punk style, but because it draws attention directly down to his face, which is simply not his best feature. Unless you're a pretty boy, a mohawk is a no go as are the chin pubes (and wearing them as pig tails really doesn't help, do they make you want to grab onto them and slam his face into something or is that just me?). 

Now the top of the head pony tail presents the same problem as the mohawk, it draws attention to his worst feature, he looks more like Lurch in this photo than an NBA player. 

And finally, the blonde wig and red dress are what I like to call the Lady Gaga style method-being outlandish and weird as a method of covering up that you are simply not attractive (see below)


  1. "I'm not even sure what you call that thing, but gentlemen, stay away from it."

    /shaves what I thought was awesome chops/goatee

  2. I liked Lady Gaga a lot better when she went by David Bowie.

  3. I like Lady Gaga and David Bowie, so there.

  4. Speaking of Lady Gaga: http://warmingglow.uproxx.com/2010/03/youre-all-under-arrest