Former QB Ryan Leaf Finds Some Way to Dig Himself Beneath Rock Bottom

AMARILLO, Tex. — Former Washington State Has-Been and San Diego Charger QB Ryan Leaf has defied every odd imaginable Thursday, by digging himself well below what many thought was rock bottom, stunning sports analysis experts and geologists alike.

"This is tremendously remarkable," said top geotechtonic researcher Kurt Van Stueden Wang. "There's a previous undiscovered level of solid ground beneath what we previously thought was simply core matter.

"The damnedest thing is I don't even think he was trying to make this discovery. I think he was actually trying to succeed."

Leaf, drafted second overall by the Chargers in the 1998 Draft, and has been considered by many to be one of the biggest NFL Draft busts of all-time, making his fall from grace really more of a slow roll from a slightly elevated mound.

"Ryan Who?" said Draft expert Mel Kiper Jr., from his raven-infested Transylvania hideout in between draft days.

Leaf himself was available for comment, but had nothing intelligible to say that wouldn't damage himself or his career further, and was therefore not recorded by the media.