Monday, November 24, 2008


Holy guacamole! It's a bicentennial edition of The Ghost of Roy Hobbs! It's hard to believe we already have 200 posts. We've seen some good times and some bad, some great times and some sad, and we've never once rhymed. Here are just a few of our own personal favorites from everyone in the group. And by group, I mean the three main writers.

Stovall's Selections:"

Steve Lattimer's College Football Preview, Florida:

Lattimer's CFB Preview of the preseason top ten was not just accurate, and not just compelling, but it was some of the funniest stuff I read. Florida's preview had it all: it clearly surmised the situation - namely King Tebow owning faces - and presented in a way that literally left everyone in my office saying, Whoa, this guy's a little emotional huh?, as I teared up from having to contain my laughter. For the love of God, do yourself a favor this holiday season and go back and read them. An honorable mention is the CFB Clemson article, as it ranks as one of the clearest and most axiomatic prognostications this fair site has ever witnessed.

Icehouse's The Return of the NBA and 30 Reasons to Watch:

The test of a truly fine bit of wordsmithship, to me, is longevity. How long does an article stay with you? That measure in most cases can measure just how good that article is. In Icehouse's case, I had to go to a throwback. In October of 2007, Icehouse gave an NBA Preview that was more thorough than a near-sighted proctologist. And I'll be the first to admit it: I'm not the biggest fan of the Association. But you can't deny the wit and the sheer know how of an article like that. And that's more than a year removed from its original publication.

Stovall's Phelps vs. Bolt:

Of all of the articles I've written for the beloved Ghost, this has been my favorite thus far. It summed up the primary question in every one's head of who owned the Olympics and dissected it in a humorous and altogether informative way. While the outcome of my thoughts were pretty weak (I decided it had to be a tie for now...sorry Donovan), I thought the argument was sound. This also seems to be where I had fully developed a bit of the aesthetic eye for picture and layout design. It's safe to say that it's posts like this that got me a promotion (seriously). But I'm not blowing my own horn. I had plenty of help editing.

The First Monday Morning Shit Storm:

What began as a way to get more people involved in commented on the Ghost, started a revolution that has since generated hundreds of more comments than many thought it could. 168 comments from a variety of folks is more than enough to secure a regular spot in the weekly schedule of The Ghost of Roy Hobbs. And while many other topics, such as wrestling memories or athlete cameos, I think we have to give props to the original shit storm. Although, for the record, Mondays still suck.

Aggregated Assault - The Izzy Mandelbaum Award:

Aggregated Assault, for those of you who aren't aware, is a group post. And I must say, in this instance, it's not about content so much as potential. Here recently, we decided to give 2008 awards to those special athletes who deserve awkwardly special recognition. And that is all well and good (I believe Phillies' pitcher Jamie Moyer is the winner, getting two whole votes...he will be shipped a congratulatory six-pack of, what else, Natural Light), it is not the point of putting this seemingly innocuous article as one of my all-time favorites.

The point is the potential I see. Group posts bring out the best in all of the writers. And love us or hate us, anyone reading this website has to admit, this is some of the best-written and best-produced material on the web. And it's on the backs of a couple of the best writers (yeah, even Lattimer) I've read in a long time.

Aggregated Assault is as good as it gets on the Ghost, because you're getting all three of us at the same time. Like some sort of creepy Eiffel Tower business or something. But, you know, less "orgy" and/or "gross."

Lattimer's Selections:
If it's possible to give one's self a virtual blowjob this is probably what it would look like.

I like how we overlooked our 100th post, as well as our one year anniversary, but I guess 200 brings out the best in people.

Favorite posts?

Talk about a GRH MVP. The Icehouse not only started this whole shit, but he kept the whole thing afloat prior to the October post surge. I think my favorite Icehouse post is actually the USA vs Spain game notes. I guess it only makes sense to some of us, but the one-liners in that post made me feel like I was sitting right next to him.

Stovall (Scooter Biceps)-
It has to be the week 1 college football wrap up. 2 reasons. 1. This line "He is so small, when he catches a snap to place, it looks like a regular sized person catching a really big watermelon." 2. Although he didn't write this, Stovall inspired this response in the comment section. "Steve and Jerri adopted Scott, who though small in stature has the heart of a lion. Apparently his heart is bigger than your entire portly mocking mass." Who the hell says "heart of a lion" nowadays? Fucking Simba? If this was one of our regular commentors please don't reveal yourself, because I've convinced myself that it was Scott Spurier googling himself, stumbling upon our blog, and going all Napoleon syndrome on Stovall.

Everything I write.

I'm just joking, in fact 90% of the time I wake up at 5:30 am, get wired on coffee, and just start writing stuff. If you remember my original for the ladies post the whole coffee thing makes total sense I think it's my favorite post because I read it again a week later and realized that there are many people out there who probably think I'm a metro. Which is ironic.

Whatever, I'm over it.

Bonus posts

Every FAFB ever. I get jacked when I read Icehouses epic closing remarks.

We should probably also link some of our other authors. They came in and rocked us with some pretty solid stuff, then they left.

I also feel like we have some pretty solid readers. The Vets know who they are.

Icehouse's Selections:
I'm just so damn proud that my little experiment has gotten this far. There were times when I thought it was dead, a lost hope, but that was nonsense. We're here now, with the world at our feet. Sort of.

Without further ado, here are my favorites:
Stovall's BoSox Fans Show Their True Colors:
It's got it all in a true Zack Stovall post. Clever pictures, A+ insight, and a wonderful analysis of a sports phenomenon. It's why we pay him the big bucks, folks. The cleverness of the wordsmithery, combined with the rational mind needed to analyze the most confounding of issues, be they political, sports-related, or trying to understand the inner-workings of the demented mindgrapes of myself and Lattimer, Stovall is the glue that holds us together.

Steve Lattimer's What in the Name of App. State is Parity?:
Rudimentary? Maybe. But this post dates back to the beginning days of this humble blog. Read it again (there's nothing else to do with it). It shows just how great the minds are that run this shit. We know this sports shit back to front. How do you think we get everything right all the time? Huh? You think that comes easy? Naw. Heavy is the head that wears the crown, y'all. And trust me, Lattimer's neck is aching with this weight.

Icehouse's Texas-Missouri Love-in:
We may get sidetracked by homerism from time to time (name me one good sports blogger that doesn't? Bill Simmons made his laugh of a career off of this). But anyways, when you come at the king, you best not miss. Somebody stepped to me. This is the retort to the claim made that Mizzou had a shot against the University of Texas.

Allen Houston's Cullen Jones...A Black Guy Who Can Swim (Fast!):
Of our four infrequent posters, I miss Allen Houston's input the most. Read this article, and you'll understand why. In this one coup d'gras, he brought more insight and social commentary to the table than the rest of our posts combined. He brought important moments in sports together with the most pressing matters facing the United States of America with unparalleled artistry. We can post pictures of drunk athletes and links to videos of fat kids getting shot with paintballs all we want, but when I can associate my blog to an essay like this, it means the world.

Don Delaware's Don Delaware Takes A Road Trip to Sunday Night Football:
Because when it's said and done, this is why we do this. We're fans. We shell out for modest seats, cheap beers and cheaper food, and we love to watch the game. We get bogus shirts, we yell and rant, and we tell John Madden to go fuck himself when he doesn't realize that we waited outside his bus to see him. We are fans of sports. It's why we do this.


  1. the first picture you used is on the cover of a textbook i used in college.

    good job, nerdlingers.

  2. Who remembers what the covers looked like from their college textbooks?

    Someone who still has them?

  3. don't pretend you don't have some. i've seen them.

  4. Nobody liked the flexbone posts?

    I kept all my textbooks.

    I haven't killed anything yet but I might take a go at this squirell family if they keep this annoying bullshit up.

  5. I have no textbooks.

    I sold them for gas, food, and booze.

    We liked the flexbone posts. They just make me sad to think about, because they died. I haven't seen them in ages.

  6. Hey guys my friend just got an iphone and you guys have a pretty cool site


    What the hell was that? Holy shit someone is shooting at us rey get out of here


    Rey? Rey talk to me. Oh my god they shot rey. Find the shooter. I can't see him. in the trees in the trees

    Get PETA on the com. PETA I am requesting a fire mission at zulu tango 57niner.yes I realize my position is danger close. I repeat I need a fire mision at...


  7. Who knew woodland creatures had access to PCP so readily available.

  8. Hahaha holy shit who the hell gave these guys a blog? Am I right?

    Haha no seriously though you should have seen these guys in college. Fuckin crazy man.

    Yeah those were good times. Haha.

    Honestly though guys I kind of feel like this blog keeps me alive. Every week I sneak into the public library and check out things like mmss fafb and stovall's laying the wood to various sports related issues. You guys are fuckin awesome man. I'm really happy about the return of DD because there is only one thing I love more than myself, and that's gambling. Right? Hahahahahaha

    I also like this blog because it seems like I never see you guys anymore. Even you fuckin readers too. Hey guess what jackasses I'm right around the corner and we never fucking hang out with me.

    /throws self at KS house

    You know what fuck all you guys. What do you think your better than me? Ohh I see know you have jobs and images. Fuck you. My 12.99 price tag was really fucking sweet in college now I'm just a memory to you. You high and mighty cock suckers. You find the time to hang out with jack jim, and that commie motherfucker stoli. Ooo hey look I'm lattimer I barely drink anymore I'm all healthy and shit. Fuck your workouts man, your the worst of em Man fuck you guys this blog is fucking stupid anyway. Ooooo you guys had 50 posts in a month. You know what? You can take those 50 posts and shove them UP YOUR NERD BlOGGING ASSES.

    // shoves people out of the way to get to bathroom

    //spills self over girls sundress

    //projectile vomits in bathroom stall

    You know wha...

    //vomits yet again
    //starts sobbing

    Oh fuck guys I'm sorry man. Its tha.. Its just that I have problems. You have NO idea how hard it is being a low end whiskey. Oh sure I'm a great seller, but I mean look at who I hang out with. Have you ever sat in an alley, in the middle of winter, 9 am, and gone down someone's throat. Guess what? I FUCKING HAVE. And that shit ruins your self esteem. I don't even know what I'm made from. I mean jack sits in a wooden barrel for several years, just soaking in charcoal. and as far as I know I'm made from bleach and brown coloring.

    The point is this. I hate my life and everyday I question why I was bottled, but you know what. This blog is the reason I don't throw myself off the second shelf every morning. I hope the next 200 posts are as good as the first.

    I fucking love you guys.

    ... Remember the good times.

    //passes out on bed only wearing wooly socks

    ...15 minutes pass

    //urinates all over label

  9. Uhhhhh

    T.W pretty much summed up my feelings about the whole thing.

    Good job though