Holy Sh*t! The NBA season is two weeks old!

It’s been pretty good, too.

So far in the short season, there’s been a few surprises, and a few not-so-surprises.

First and foremost, the not-so-surprises. The best teams in the league are apparently the Celtics and Lakers. This, of course, is probably because neither team lost anybody of note (the C’s losing James Posey being the only notable difference). But Bynum is back healthy for the Lakeshow, Pau is playing like he grew a pair, and Kobe is Kobe. For the Celtics, Kevin Garnett is struggling just a little bit, but every time he gets into a shooting slump, he more than makes up for it in every other facet of his game. Also, Big Baby Glenn Davis seems to have found a stroke, so that’s helping out.

Other non-surprises would be Detroit and Cleveland playing well, and there’s really nothing you can say about that.

The Blazers are somewhere in the middle, they’ve won some big games (Brandon Roy’s blood is apparently made of ice after seeing the Blazers OT win over the Rockets), but you’ve also got to say that Greg Oden getting hurt again is a non-surprise that’s going to hurt them once they start needing some beasty shit in the middle.

Surprises, on the other hand would be thus:

First, the Texas teams, long considered to be the toughest road trip in the game, are all playing like ass. The Rockets lead this bunch of underachievers at 4-3. I’d expect them to keep that clip for the foreseeable future. The Mavs are fucking lazy, that’s all there is to say about them. The Spurs have been without Manu and Fabricio “Oh Boy!” Oberto, and despite Duncan playing like the hall-of-famer that he is, their only win came off of a 55-point Tony Parker performance to beat the Timberwolves in 2OT. The Spurs should not be taken to OT by the goddamn Minnesotans. Now T-Pizzle is down with an ankle injury, so now they don’t know what the fuck to do.

The Knicks are playing well. Starbury hasn’t seen a second. Makes sense, I guess.

Anybody want to guess who has got the best record in the East right now? The Hawks. Probably won’t stay like that forever, but they’re playing pretty damn well on the back of Joe Johnson. The Western equivalent could be the Grizzlies, who have the eighth spot right now. I say this because both teams are freakishly athletic, and they play like it.

Two Eastern playoff teams have the worst records in the East. Philly and Washington are both playing like total ass right now.

And now, to discuss the trade. Allen Iverson for Mr. Big Shot Chauncey Billups and Antonio McDyess. Man. Now the Answer is in Detroit, where he is definitely the man. Billups gets to return to his hometown, and while he and Dice both played on the Nuggets together back in the day, Dice was subsequently thanked by getting his ass waived. Chris “The Birdman” Andersen 1, Antonio McDyess 0. It’s tough to say who got the better end of this deal. Detroit inherits the prolific scoring machine that is Allen Iverson, and Denver gets rid of Iverson’s huge ass contract, and gains Chauncey. Considering how they didn’t have a true point guard, and they get maybe the one guy you can trust with this position at all points of the game, it’s not too bad of a gig. I’d say the real winners were the TV watchers that got treated to Iverson’s career highlight real, that included AI shaking Jordan out of his shoes, and of course, the “Cold as Ice Stepover” of Tyronn Lue.

In your face, Tyronn.

The next big trade that may happen is Charlotte is looking to deal Gerald “G-Force” Wallace. Good call, MJ, getting rid of the best player on your team usually benefits, right?

Anyways, keep an eye out for games. I highly recommend any Blazers or Hawks games. Guaranteed you will see a few highlight dunks in both.