Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Source Tells ESPN's Chris Mortensen Majority of Titans Are 'Bunch of Dumb Stupid Fartface Bullies'

NASHVILLE — An unnamed source close to the Tennessee Titans organization told ESPN's Chris Mortensen that several members of the team are "a bunch of dumb, stupid fartface bullies."

Mortensen broke the news shortly after returning to his home studio in Fayetteville, Arkansas, after a phone call with the source.

"Apparently, the team requires some rookie members to pick up garbage around the stadium, haul starters' luggage, and do wall-sits for an extended period of time," said the ESPN analyst.

"They also have to do bows-and-toes on the team bleachers."

The source also said that during throwing drills, other teammates exclaim "WEEEE!!!" after every pass certain quarterbacks make, and that several of the players act like "total jerks."


  1. I'm pretty sure that unnamed source came from Jay Glazer fucking around with Mort.

  2. I was Mort's kid.

    Needed more tears.