McWuncler's All Americans: April 2009

Fuck you, college.

So I was hard at work formulating my latest prognostication, which was that one day, some enterprising young fellow would would realize that Europe has no age restrictions, will pay, that pro hoops is pro hoops, and decide to go play professionally without even finishing high school.

But then this fucker went ahead and did it.

I'm totally for it. It's economics. The NCAA had a stranglehold on basketball prospects until Kevin Garnett decided that was horseshit and made the jump. This grew and grew until the NCAA cried hard enough for David Stern to enact the minimum age requirement in 2006. The NCAA hides behind the shroud of caring about kids, but this is nonsense. Have you any idea how much more money the NCAA would have made had LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, Dwight Howard et al decided to go to college? Boatloads. That's what they're upset about.

You care about kids? Why not honor scholarships no matter what? What about all that talk about "most of us are going pro in something other than blah blah blah? Where's Leon Smith these days? Huh? You two-faced sacks of shit.

What the NCAA should understand is that they're not an enormous money-making entity. They're supposed to be about higher learning. They lost sight of that. They want to be as relevant as the NBA, and that's just not logical. They have the best postseason of any sports organization, amateur or otherwise. That shit is exciting, and the whole world watches it. They should be content with what they are, instead of bending the rules to suit themselves. They should also ask themselves what having a host of one-and-done players running roughshod over competition actually gets them in the end. Well, it gets them cash, so they could probably give a fuck.

I'm proud of Jeremy Tyler. He's going to blossom as a player, and as a person. Seriously, what do athletes actually get out of college?

Don't try to tell me that he's going to miss out on his education. Players have much better track records when they go back for their degrees (see: Vince Carter, Shaquille O'Neal, Stanley Roberts. Actually, research Stanley Roberts before telling me I'm wrong). People like Jeremy don't want a higher education, and don't need one. It's unfair to force them into a farce of one. Don't tell me that all players get something out of more school, because they don't. I've seen what kind of "education" D1 athletes get.

Finally, it's about time that we let players play, regardless of age or sport. Where was the uproar when Freddy Adu went pro at 14? What about Andre Agassi? Michael Phelps? Basketball is an urban sport, populated mostly by poorer African Americans. The very people whose families would benefit the most from a pro athlete's salary are told they need to wait 5 more years than suburban kids who play wiener sports like tennis and swimming.

Jeremy is going to be able to earn money for his family, instead of earning money for Rick Pitino. It's only fair, and I hope more kids do it in the future. Thank you Jeremy Tyler, I just wish you would have let me document my prediction, instead of writing something all after the fact.