Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Bills' WR Terrell Owens Warned by Buffalo PD that 'Highfalutin' City Boy Antics' Won't Fly

BUFFALO — In a pre-preemptive attempt to curb Buffalo, New York's newest neighbor, Police Chief Ralph Alsobrook says he's going to "nip this TO problem in the bud."

"These highfalutin' city boy antics of his won't fly here in Buffalo," said Alsobrook, from the steps of the City Hall/Denny's parking lot, adjacent to the Shell station, and caddy-corner to Old Man Johnson's pumpkin farm. "If he wants to act like some dummy, and disrupt my peace, he's gonna hafta find somewhere else to do it."

The trade of the once-coveted receiver from Dallas to Buffalo sent shockwaves through the small town of Buffalo, spreading from the epicenter of Edwards-Caldwell Drug Store, which houses the town radio, outward into the far reaches of the community.

A similar statement was released two years ago when Cal RB Marshawn Lynch was drafted by the Bills, but tempers were quelled when Lynch's request to join the Buffalo NRA was approved.

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