China's newest prospect.

Well, it looks like he's enormous, but he'll have to wait until at least 2015 before he can get drafted.

Caption Contest!

China's most famous athlete can run on any track at any time, and that includes during the female team speedwalker's practice.

or...

"Must...Not...Break...Foot."

or...

"October can't come quickly enough. This country sucks and my wife here is ugly."

Friday Afternoon Funbag!

While we typically provide GRH readers with a humorous photograph of a popular or at least well-known celebrity athlete who happens to be inebriated, this week we came up short. Here's Yao Ming, Houston's perhaps favorite chinaman, apparently imbibing but then giving a speech with his usual, sober expression.

To quote Eddie Murphy, "Karate Man hurt on the inside."

So what has this week taught us? American cars aren't doing too well, something called a "swine flu" may be almost as painful as the flying pig puns that are procured therein, and, judging by the amount of postage this week, Zack Stovall is either unemployed or has way too much time on his hands.

Also, there were some videos. A hat tip to GRH commenter White Yao. Savor the flavor, butterscotch — I'm sure there's a Lattimer verbal thrashing somewhere to be found. Here's one that's less funny than freaking-face-melting-mind-blowingly awesome. Apparently you can't embed things that are this awesome, to which I would reply, "FIE!"

One of my guilty pleasures is an affinity for some forms of punk music, including but not limited to Blink 182. But this entertainment knows no bounds.

Watch British Choir Sings "Whats My Age Again?" on CollegeHumor

This is one of my all-time favorite SNL skits. It was the precursor to Andy Sandberg's digital shorts, and features Steve Buscemi as a used food pawn shop owner.

Stavenhagen's Food Pawn Shop with Steve Buscemi and Will Ferrell from Adam "Ghost Panther" McKay

I don't much care for the Hills. But I care for Chris Bosh a great deal. I'm so conflicted. But this is funny anyway.

I like food and I like it when people rub my feet in a non-tickling fashion. I am down with this cause.

It's entirely possible that Vader Sessions has appeared on the Ghost before. It's an absolute certainty that it hasn't been watched enough by Americans everywhere. Do your patriotic duty and behold.

Hey there! Six videos! Five of which were easily embedded! That's enough to get a good start to the weekend. Or not. Anyway, have it at it, and, as always, play to win.

Source Tells ESPN's Chris Mortensen Majority of Titans Are 'Bunch of Dumb Stupid Fartface Bullies'

NASHVILLE — An unnamed source close to the Tennessee Titans organization told ESPN's Chris Mortensen that several members of the team are "a bunch of dumb, stupid fartface bullies."

Mortensen broke the news shortly after returning to his home studio in Fayetteville, Arkansas, after a phone call with the source.

"Apparently, the team requires some rookie members to pick up garbage around the stadium, haul starters' luggage, and do wall-sits for an extended period of time," said the ESPN analyst.

"They also have to do bows-and-toes on the team bleachers."

The source also said that during throwing drills, other teammates exclaim "WEEEE!!!" after every pass certain quarterbacks make, and that several of the players act like "total jerks."

Olympics are nigh!

Dirk was chosen by his country to carry the flag during the opening ceremonies. So he did this to his hair. Good thing for him, he can't possibly be uglier, no matter what his hair looks like.

Yao was chosen to carry China's flag, but it's doubtful that he'll deviate from what I like to call General Tso's Flattop.

Who's carrying the Stars and Stripes? Could it be any of our famous Olympians (Michael Phelps, Misty May, LeBron James)? No. Lopez Lomong is. See, other countries choose well-known athletes to carry their flags. We choose guys who've only been Americans for 13 months to carry our flag, so as to make a dig at Chinese international policies.

They deserve it. Lousy commies.