Sunday, February 15, 2009

The NBA: Where The Big Jabbawockee happens

This was a great All-Star game. The whole weekend was great, in fact. H-O-R-S-E (give the name back, you Geico ratfucks!) is a great addition to the festivities, but I'm still waiting for a 1-on-1 tournament. More on that at a different juncture.

Anyways, Lattimer requested some Shaq for this week's Fun Bag, but I couldn't help myself after seeing this. Shaq is a Big Mystery. Shaq in an enigma wrapped in a riddle wrapped in a lie wrapped in an onion. He's so many things to so many people. Savior, traitor, MVP, Deputy Sheriff, Overpaid galoot.

Me, I've gone through various stage of Shaq. He was undeniably the most valuable player in the NBA for about half a decade. It took Tim Duncan and David Robinson to stop him, and Shaq v. The Admiral is the most underrated rivalry of all time. He's been the killer that tore the Mexican Azzurri apart three years in a row, yet the guy I had to watch. The dump truck in which Los Angeles filled its hopes, dreams, exposure, and drama.

Acting, rapping, shoe-producing, spokesman of failed sports drink endeavors, Shaq has done it all. Needless to say, he's filled some different shoes.

But he's entertaining as anything, though, isn't he?

Look at him go! It's not the best Shaq breakdancing we've featured on this glorious experiment, but it's on a different production level.

Although he may be in the twilight of his career, he's still the guy that we all fell in love with back in the day. The way I think about Shaq is that he's like the giant robot that the kid gets to control in that one movie. Shaq's body is the gigantic robot, life-destroying yet tender. Shaq's mind is the six-year-old. He doesn't have the tightest grasp on everything, but he's good.

I hope I never see a world without the Big Cactus.

1 comment:

  1. Shaq Diesel was the first CD I ever owned, no joke.