Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Michael Phelps Doesn't Care; Why Should We?

I'm tired of hearing about Michael Phelps and his altogether unremarkable photo with his Swedish-made penis enlarger/ bong.

  • He's 23.
  • He's got more money than God.
  • He holds a honky record that no honky will dare challenge for years.
  • That record will protect his image like a bulletproof vest.
  • He is a goon.

All of these are indicators that Michael Phelps will likely smoke some ganja. If you think he won't, you're a tremendously large idiot.

So. Stop talking about Michael Phelps smoking some grass. I'd be more surprised if he didn't. And above all, never forget that he is first and foremost a laughable, awkwardly-jawed goon.


  1. Middle-American social conservatives care.

    My least favorite demog. Always fucking shit up.

  2. 11 states have decriminalized Mary J-in fact Massachusetts State law is you can own up to but not more then 1 ounce of the Purple Urple...if this picture was taken in Mass instead of SC this might be a non issue. Even still, if Phelps wasn't the responsible athlete that he is and admitted to the event there is no way to prove that he was smoking, it could have been a cool photo op for his friends. (who should be punched in the nuts for leaking that picture)

  3. I think most people don't care about Phelps smoking, although he's getting a better deal than someone like Ricky Williams. Most of us make fun of Phleps because he's a cake-eater jock face.

  4. Very true,he is getting a better deal than Williams but its also a different scenario. Williams plays on a team based sport where individual performance affects all others around you who are working towards the same goal, obviously your teammates, coaching staff etc...not to mention fans and those who view Williams as a role model.

    Phelps competes in an individual sport where he is (for the most part) the only one affected by a poor performance resulting from token the ganja. The police in SC are trying to figure out if they can charge him with possession of Mary J and will if they figure out how. They said they don't want to treat him any differently then a low income African American (swear they said this) committing the same crime.

    I do Agree that Phelps is a cake eating jock face and that is one of the reasons why i love making fun of him too but with Mary J laws entering a state of limbo from state to state and between state and federal law people are trying to take a stand. Unfortunately, Mike Phelps may be the example of SC

  5. Brian good points as always.

    The comparison between Phelpsie and R-Dub was more about the media's coverage over their incidents. Now I'm 99% sure this occured after the Olympics, but the points about the nature of the two sports are spot on. Never really thought of that before.

    As for as the Mary J laws, well that's above my pay grade, although it doesn't surprise me a S.C Sheriff is trying to make an example of a celebri...excuse me, Phelps.

  6. Update on Mike the Drug Dealer:

    Kellogg's has officialy said they will not renew a contract with Phelps because to even try marijuana "doesn't fit the Kellogg's image"


    Michael Phelps has been suspended from the US Swim Team for 3 months

    I'm sure we will have more news to follow on the Phelpes gets Phucked watch