Thursday, September 3, 2009

Retired QB Trent Green Walks Away From Fiery, 32 Vehicle Pile-Up Unscathed

KIRKWOOD, Missouri -- Recently retired quarterback Trent Green, whose career was nearly ended twice due to stomach-turning concussions before another finally ended it in Miami, survived a fiery and violent 32-car pile up on I-55 Wednesday, after his motorcycle rear-ended a lumber trailer causing it to spin out of control, taking a number of surrounding and following cars down with it.

The oft-injured Green, who was not wearing a helmet at the time, walked away from the incident nearly unscathed, favoring only his left pinky fingernail.

"I think I skinned it a bit," said Green, squinting at the digit. "I dunno, I can't tell. What do you think?"

The crash killed as many as 56 people, and coroners are still sifting through the liquefied, charred, and scattered remains in the somewhat hopeless attempt to discern one body from another.

"Guess it's my lucky day," Green shrugged. "Then again, I've always been known as a pretty tough guy."

In other news, shortly after walking away from I-55, Green was found dead on the floor a local Schnuck's, after having been slipped up by banana peel in the produce section.

1 comment:

  1. I wouldn't figure Trent to be a bike man. Funny he's at Schnucks, He has enough money to shop at Dierbergs.