Oh dear god.
/Breathes
Ok that weekend got a little crazy. My head hurts a bit, and I have an odd stain on my shirt. Only two things can fix this. Breakfast, and the Shitstorm.
We're late with the shitstorm but it's a good one. Today we are going to compare Public figures and sports teams/individuals. It might be hard, but I think the Hobbers are good enough to pull this off.
We're looking for stuff like this.
Congressman Ron Paul (R-TX) and GRH favorite, Mike Leach.
So let's see, both kinda wired differently, both somewhat contrarian in their views, can rub people the wrong way sometimes, both have higher IQ's than their colleagues....Sounds about right.
Ok so that was just one, we should be able to get crazy on this one.
Begin
Monday, September 21, 2009
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Jay-Z is LeBron. Young, black, entrepeneurial, savvy, and soon to be in business together.
ReplyDeleteKenny Chesney and the Mets. Why? They are both shitty and over exposed on ESPN.
ReplyDeleteUVA=Entourage. They both represent the biggest douchebags this great nation has to offer.
ReplyDeleteTommy Lee Jones and Willie Nelson are University of Texas Football.
ReplyDeleteThey're undeniable icons, were at their most badassedness in the late 60s, early 70s, but are still relevant to the point of being on top of the game today.
Tim Duncan is Al Gore.
ReplyDeleteDecried as a hippie? Yes.
Boring? Yes.
Beaten by a more charismatic personality under dubious circumstances in 2000? You better believe it.
A champion that runs the game from behind the scenes? Oh yeah.
Delonte West is El Mariachi.
ReplyDeleteBecause he's drunk and has a shotgun in a guitar case.
Dwyane Wade is Mickey Rourke.
ReplyDeleteAwesome, then faded out of public consciousness, then awesome again. All while maintaining a slightly boring demeanor.
Steve Nash is Dave Matthews.
ReplyDeleteThey are both incorrectly claimed by douchebags as fellow residents (Foppish Virginians for Dave, Canadians for Steve) as they were both born in South Africa.
They also both work with a bunch of black people.
Ok, the U is America. Relatively new country/team. Used superior personnel to gain success. Hated? Yes. Respected? Damn straight.
ReplyDeleteRicky Williams is Snoop Dogg.
ReplyDeleteI would defend this, but I defy anyone to come up with how they're different.
Dennis Rodman is Ludwig von Beethoven.
ReplyDeleteBeethoven essentially was a mad genius, composing some of the world's greatest and most timeless orchestras (everybody in the world knows his 5th and 9th Symphonies), all while being completely deaf.
While Beethoven lacked the one sense most necessary to musical success, Rodman lacked not just common sense, but the sense of offensive output. Rodman looked at the scoring of points (what most people see as imperative to basketball) quite odiously. He lived for creating chaos, hitting the floor, and is the greatest rebounding mastermind/evil genius the world has ever seen.
Also for Beethoven and Rodman, crazy hair and a lot of groupies.
ReplyDeleteSewannee is Perez Hilton because they are both gay.
ReplyDeleteOk, Oakland Raiders=France. History, Craziness, recent WTF's. I could go on but it is Oakland and France.
ReplyDeleteMichael Jordan is Dr. Manhattan.
ReplyDeleteThey're both so much more than human that they developed a god complex, with a healthy dash of contempt for mere mortals.
Plus, that big sweet-ass glass castle that Dr. Manhattan built on Mars? Well, they call the United Center (the largest NBA arena) "the House that Jordan Built."
Plus, remember when Dr. Manhattan was getting sexy time on while doing some advanced physics? Jordan totally multitasks like that, what with running the hoops side of the BETcats, his superfly clothing brand, playing golf with Tiger Woods, taking Charles Barkley's money, and banging Cuban supermodels.
Vince Young is John Belushi.
ReplyDeleteA couple of classic moments, and one amazing work of art early in both men's careers. But the meteoric rise led to nothing but a similarly-meteoric fall from grace.
Ricky Williams is Dave Chappelle
ReplyDeleteJoe Cuatro is Steve Jansen
ReplyDelete