Thursday, September 24, 2009

Lamar Odom to Wed Common Prostitute



Lamar Odom is apparently attempting to disprove a theory, and actually turn a Kardashian into a housewife. Lamar must still be reeling from his success in disproving the "Kobe is a ballhog" theory. To his credit, that took quite some doing, and ended quite impressively with two trips to the finals and one ring. If these pending nuptials do result in a lasting and loving relationship, it will become clear that Lamar Odom is less a basketball player, and more a reformer of men, whose time and efforts would better have been spent counseling criminals.

I'm not trying to be cynical, but let's look at what each brings to the table.
Lamar:
-Music and film production company
-Clothing company
-Emotional baggage
-Millions of self-made dollars
-Ron Artest
-Was a member of the greatest Los Angeles Clippers team ever assembled
-Phil Jackson's Zen and Yoga classes
-May or may not be Nicolas Anelka
-Defense
-Rebounding
-Passing
-Outside shooting
-NBA Championship
-NBA Championship trophy made entirely of candy

Khloe (Shit, she even spells her name wrong!):
-Sluttiness
-Slutty sisters
-Slutty mom
-Paparazzi

The bottom line is that I like Lamar Odom. I really feel for the guy. He's been through more hard times and suffered more personal losses than anyone ever should, and he's always come through better for it. Lamar Odom deserves someone with personality and class. Not someone famous for having a sister who got famous for a sex tape. You know what a sex tape is? Porn that you don't get paid for. Pro bono ho. I'm just saying, I hope Lamar calls Reggie Bush and mulls it over a little bit.

2 comments:

  1. needs the "Icehouse thinks they are whores" tag.

    Don Delaware what's the over under on how long this will last?

    ReplyDelete