Monday, December 22, 2008

Monday Morning Shit Storm

Dashing through the snow
In a one horse open sleigh
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way (ha ha ha)
Bells on bobtails ring
Making spirits bright
(oh) What fun it is to laugh and sing
A sleighing...


MONDAY MORNING SHIT STORM!!!


For several weeks I was trying to think of some epic shit storm for Christmas, but I realized there are way too many factors to cover in one question. So let's just consider this an open Shit Storm of sorts. I'll toss out some questions, but if you have anything to add go ahead and fire away in the comment section.

Opening presents Christmas Eve or Christmas Day?- Day all the way.
Favorite Christmas song? (non pop culture)- Carol of the Bells.
Favorite Christmas Song? (Pop culture)- Merry Christmas from the Family.
Real Tree or Fake Tree?- Real
Favorite Christmas cookie?- The peanut butter one with the Hershey kiss in the center.
Still believe in Santa? No. In second grade I figured that there wasn't one Santa and they worked like the postal service, where you would have regional Santa distribution centers, I also just figured he would show up at the door and your parents would pick them up. In third grade I saw my mom bring in my new Orvis Fly rod and I was like "Oh that's how it works."
Favorite Movie? (Classic) "A Christmas Story"
Least Favorite Movie? (Classic) "Miracle on 34th Street"
Favorite Movie? (Non Classic) Tie. "Home Alone" and "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation."
Favorite Christmas food? Surprisingly...Ham.
Family Christmas Tradition? On Christmas Eve we go out in the woods and find mistletoe. If we can't reach it, we shoot it down with a .22.
Egg Nog, yes or no? A resounding yes.

This should get us started, but like I said just throw out some Christmas Spirit in the comment section.

9 comments:

  1. Carol of the Bells is awesome, but it's getting a little overplayed.

    Although, it does lead to awesome Garmin commercials.

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  2. Yeah I had to sing it in high school so it's always in my head.

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  3. Christmas Eve at Aunt Stacey's is what I call The Best Day of the Year.

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  4. Holding a candle while singing Silent Night during the Christmas Eve service. Doesn't get better than that.

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  5. My favorite line:

    I want to look him [his boss, who had just stiffed him by enrolling him in a Jelly of the Month club] straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is. Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?

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  6. I'm partial to the shooting spree that Ralphie fantasizes in A Christmas Stoy. He kills a lot of Black Bart's gang.

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  7. My Favorite is singing different words to the carols in church. For example:

    Joy to the World!
    The Teachers dead,
    We Bar-B-Qued her head!
    And what about the body?
    We Flushed it down the potty,
    and round and round it went,
    and round and round it went,
    and round and round and round it went,

    And I give cheers to the boy genius who bestowed upon us this tasty nugget:

    Jingle Bells, Batman smells
    Robin laid an egg.
    Batmobile lost a wheel,
    And joker got away.

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  8. HEY DICK, IT COULD'VE BEEN A GIRL GENIUS! JERRY JONESTOWN IS A SEXIST! DIE PIG, DIE!!!

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  9. I highly doubt any person of the female gender could possibly have the intellect or brain power for such insightful parody. . .

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