At least I didn't have to live through this.
Well, it's a fitting time to put this out there anyways, what with how homoerotic this site has been this week. I mean, an open thread about soccer being gay, a gay pose caption contest, AND an article about the SEC? I think we all can agree that the writers here need to put down the Cosmos (magazine) and the cosmos (drink) and get back to the manliness that this site was founded on.
Just kidding, I'm going to talk about penises.
If you're like me, you've noticed a few more NFL penises have been making their way into the public eye this year. Not like we've been looking for them or anything...
Let me start over.
The internet and television has found three NFL players' penises this year. Some were put there on purpose (Santonio Holmes), some were accidental (Visanthe Shiancoe), and some were borderline anonymous (Chris Cooley). They were all male sex organs, though.
What's up with this? Well, there's an element of stupidity in all three. Santonio took a picture of himself full frontal nude, and put it on the internet. Chris Cooley took a picture of a painting he had just done, and didn't notice that there were elements of himself in the picture, and Fox was stupid enough to go into a room, the sole purpose of which is for men to change clothes, with live cameras rolling.
It started out funny enough, I mean Cooley just wanted to give everybody a picture of his new painting. But it's getting ridiculous. This is worse than that Abu Ghraib shit, when you couldn't turn on the TV or look at a newspaper without seeing an ugly chick standing next to a pile of naked dudes. Shit was gross.
The internet is bound to be the place where everything captured on a camera phone is going to go first, but let's be sensible, please? If you're going to put naked pictures of yourself on the web, have the decency to make people pay for them. If you don't want naked pictures of yourself on the web, don't take them yourself. Fox, show some goddamn sense.
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best part: Jumbo package=rolling your hands around your stomach.
ReplyDeleteHey Icehouse thank you once again for opening your "beat bank" up to the beloved followers of GRH, we all truly appreciate it. Barring some unknown picture of an international sports man orgy I think you have covered it all, but who knows I wouldn't be surprised at this point if you pulled out a picture of Nate Newton in a g-string with his body covered in Vaseline.
ReplyDeleteWhile your shock and awe attack may be over, I don't think anyone will ever forget that one day GRH turned gay.
I could have done worse.
ReplyDeleteBe thankful I didn't link any of the pictures that I spoke of.
Ironically enough, yesterday was a day of protest for the gay community, calling for all gay people to take off from work to protest the vote against gay marriage.
ReplyDeleteAlso ironically, the NASDAQ went up 1.61% to 1572, the S&P went up 1.26% to 900, & the Dow went up 1.23 % to 8798 yesterday.
That's not the only thing that went up.
ReplyDeleteRIGHT!!!
GRH Prop 8 Week?
ReplyDeleteI'm all about prop 8.
ReplyDeleteDuuuuuude we got a bot, or maybe a college kid trying to make some money. Either way this is a great moment for us.
ReplyDeleteAnd you know what's crazy? Just yesterday we were talking about NFL hats, and this sonbitch shows up with an NFL merchandise blog. America fucking rules.
"I just want to get my Truck back"
ReplyDelete