Friday, December 5, 2008

Guest Post: T.W Samuels

Many of the writers on this blog were friends with this one guy in college. His name is T.W Samuels. While we all had some great memories many of us have moved on with our Lives. T.W, however, likes the college lifestyle, and travels around the country crashing at various homes. The other night at 3:00 am I received a knock at my door. It was T.W. He has been sleeping on my couch ever since and will not leave until he gets to post on GRH.

Take it away T.W:

T.W: HAHAHAHA IT'S YOUR FAVORITE 12 DOLLAR BOURBON T.W SAMUELS HERE AND I'M ABOUT TO DROP SOME KNOWLEDGE ABOUT THE UPCOMING CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP GAMES!!!!!

Yeah man I was in the public library the other day and I stalked you guys on facebook and I found this site.
GRH IS THE MUHFUCKIN SHIT!!!!

[Goes into kitchen, steals coke, mixes self with coke]

Yeah man college football, I love this shit, it's in my mixed spirits.

DUUUUUUDE the SEC championship game is going to be insane!

AM I RIGHT!!!


I'm from big time SEC country. Kentucky.
Let me hear you say it SEC SEC SEC SEC.
Think about it dude, you got Tebow and the Florida offense against the Bama D. Saban vs. Meyer. God it's so awesome. I don't know who is going to win, but I do know one thing. FLORIDA IS GOING TO GET SMACKED IN THE FUCKING MOUTH.

That Bama D brings it...AM I RIGHT!!!

fuck it, Bama wins a close one.

[Punches bystander in the arm repeatedly]

Hey BROSEPHS we got another good early game as well.


Army Navy
HELL YEAH, tradition, and flexbone v flexbone
Too bad the Midshipman are going to take a giant Midshit all over Army

NAVY WINS BIG

[spills self all over girl's sundress, walks away, pours self into another drink]

Man you know what though, some of these games BLOW.

[rams head into wall]


God ACC who in the hell do you think you are?
VT vs BC, awesome, what a buzzkill.
Why in the hell do you guys even play football...What? YOU WANNA ROLL ?

THEN LETS DO THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW.

Oh ok fine, hide behind your academically superior schools...GDI'S

If Tech can't run the ball they lose.

Ball State beats Buffalo in the MAC attack game.

Pitt beats UCONN in the Big East suckfest

Oh great we also have the Affliction bowl.
USC vs. UCLA

Really? You want me to make a pick or offer insight?

Fuck off?

[Begins to wander aimlessly]

Dude but what about the Big 12 man?
It's just so stupid I cant take it anymore

[punches wall while sobbing]

gahhhhh this is such bullshit
We're letting computers settle this shit now?
OU vs. Mizzou, who thinks of this stuff. Dude Texas beat OU on a neutral field. And what about Texas Tech, what they're horseshit now?
OU is going to win, everyone knows it.



[sobs uncontrollably]

Dude, we're never going to see a playoff.
I love college football man I mean YOU KNOW ME.
All I want is a legitimate champion.
Sometimes I feel like the BCS is sending me down a long dark road from which there is no return.
All I want is a playoff
All I want is a playoff
All I want is a playoff

[passes out]

Lattimer: Thanks T.W here have some Gatorade







4 comments:

  1. I think I know this guy. I think he punches himself in the face.

    ReplyDelete
  2. If he calls, tell him I'm not here.

    ReplyDelete
  3. After reading this again, I think that I may have been inspiration for some of this.

    Namely, one time when I screamed at the top of my lungs for Lattimer to come into my room. He did, and I asked him to get me a gatorade out of my fridge.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I really think it's a combination of 30 people. Once we have more T.W posts they will all come out

    ReplyDelete