Thursday, March 26, 2009

Roger Goodell: Trier of Men's Souls

"I think it's clear he's paid a price, but to a large extent he's going to have to demonstrate to the larger community — not just to the NFL community and to me — that he has remorse for what he did and that he recognizes mistakes that he made."

Roger Goodell, the heavy-handed commissioner of the National Football League, is already being asked for his musings on the highest-profile case that he has seen or will likely see in his commissioning tenure.

With Michael Vick set to be released from prison just in time for the opening days of NFL training camps. The Atlanta Falcons, who still retain his rights, are saying he'll be up for grabs. With 31 teams who could not only use a specimen like Michael Vick, but a Michael Vick who has been doing nothing but thinking and lifting weights (pick which one he does better), it's a safe bet that there are more than a handful of teams who would be willing to fork over the extra money to install some fire-hoses to ward of the PeTA protesters who would surely bombard their respective stadium.

They'll be all over that Mike Vick.

But hold those horses! Goodell says that the court ordered paying of debts, both monetary and punitive, may not be enough. Goodell is saying that the single most explosive player isn't going to be able to waltz in like he owns the place anymore. He is going to have to pay even more. He is going to be weighed on a scale more mighty and fearsome than any judicial system known to man.

He's going to have to tell Goodell that he's sorry. And he's going to have to mean it.

The most omniscient Goodell will try the man's soul. He will look into his very heart and determine the sincerity of his words. All will hail his magnanimous judgment for it will be good. It will be just. It will be politically correct. This man who has been living behind bars had better be grateful for the millions he may or may not get back, and he had better not be lying about it.

Because this is the NFL. We don't take kindly to people who lie and get caught.