Hey guys, I'm Tom Brady, quarterback of the New England Patriots. I'm writing you guys to try to win your respect and admiration, especially you Lattimer. See, Lattimer used to kinda like me. Even with all that Boston hate inside his heart, Lattimer would still defend me. He thought I was a great quarterback, a great leader, and will eventually consider me in the top 10 in history. But last night I received a disturbing message from the shit stormer himself. It reads: WTF BRADY WHAT A PSSY I H8 U SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!!!
I think it has something to do with this rule. Look, I'm not on the rules committee, Shit Gisele is driving me up the wall, I've got zero free time. Lattimer, I know you hate what my boss said
"I think all the quarterbacks in this league are critical to what the game is about," said Patriots owner Robert Kraft. "It's like if Peyton Manning were gone for a season, I think the whole NFL suffers, the same way the NFL suffered with Tommy out. So whatever we can do to protect quarterbacks and to minimize the opportunity of them being taken out with a year-ending injury I would support.
"It's not good for the league. What makes it special is special players. It's like going to see a great movie and the star isn't in the movie. It's the same principle."
I mean he's my boss, I bet your boss says ignorant things from time to time. (Latt note-Anger Rising) Look you can sympathize with me, you used to climb into giant crushers to clear out two tons worth of limestone, one slip and you could end up taking a 50 foot elevator ride. (Latt note- We wore harnesses and it's something called OCCUPATIONAL HAZARD)
I guess I could wear some type of safety device, I see the o-line wearing those, probably because their knees are in a vulnerable position. But you know, it just doesn't look as cool.
It's not my fault that the rule essentially limits a defender to hit me here
/points to shoulders.
/points to waist.
It kinda sucks for the defense because even if they do hit me and slide down to my knee they can still get penalized.
I guess eventually nobody will be able to hit us anymore, which will be sweet because I can just stand back there like 7 on 7 and fire rockets all over the field.
And those other rules...totally not my fault.
I just can't help it if people love me so much. I think it's obvious that they come to see me, Pey Pey and.....
Lattimer: Just stop talking...Just stop.