Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Mike Vick Lands On Pet Beagle's Head After Freak Accident Seconds After Release From House Arrest

HAMPTON, Va. — Mere seconds after his release, former NFL quarterback Mike Vick is back in the "dog house" after walking out of his home, tripping on a stray pebble, and landing on a passerby's beloved pet beagle, Barkley, killing the animal nearly instantly.

"Dang it," said Vick, according to a police report.

Jogging enthusiast Shauna Robertson, owner of Barkley, said that she knew the former superstar was trouble the minute he walked out.

"He had this crazy look about him! He was saying something about 'Free at last,' and Oh! He killed Barkley," cried Robertson, who intends to press charges.

"'Free to KILL AGAIN at last is more like it," sobbed Robertson.

Attorneys for Vick say that Barkley was the victim of a happenstance, and that gravity and the pebble are the culprits.

No word on what Roger Goodell thinks of this latest fold in the Michael-Vick-being-crazy-and-killing-animals-like-a-psycho(TM) saga.