Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Local Mississippi Athletes Woefully Unprepared For Actual Season Due to Favre Workouts

HATTIESBURG — Parents, booster clubs and athletic organizations have "had it up to here with that Brett Favre guy," according to reports saying that high school and DII-college athletes are woefully unprepared for their upcoming seasons due to the hours put in running the retired-QB's work out routine.

"I mean, we're trying to get these guys ready for STATE," said Oak Grove High School Football Coach Lou Tubbs. "They're out there fiddle-fartin' around with Favre. Just lolly-gaggin' and fiddle-fartin'."

"Hell, we'll be lucky to take district, let alone STATE."

Some of the athletes are admitting some of their frustration at Favre's demands to not only learn pro-style routes, but also maintain pro-style speeds and strengths, and subjecting themselves to pro-style punishments for lack of hustle.

"I can barely tie my shoes let alone learn two systems of offense," said WR Will Hoofman, who also doubles as the team's noseguard, displaying his cleats completely surrounded with layers of duct tape he says he puts on daily to secure his footwear.

"He tried to fine me $400,000 for missing practice. I've never seen $400,000 in person," said sophomore WR Danny Koehler.

"My fingers hurt," said RB Jeremy Collins, who was recruited by Farve to attend mandatory workouts along with receivers to give Favre that "wildkitty thing all them teams are doin'."

"He knows no kid in their right mind is going to turn down Brett Favre to work out," said Collins. "I just wish he wouldn't come hang out with us at the bowling alley on Friday nights. He graduated junior high with my dad."


  1. I also read that Brett led Oak Grove to a third place finish at the South Panola 7 on 7 passing tournament.

    He did however eat his school provided lunch pack in a separate shaded area.

  2. But on the real, I bet these kids are like "shit we have passing league, mini camp, weights, speed training, and now we have to run shit for Brett who throws us an NFL ball that we are 99.99% never going to need in a real game situation ever."

  3. You know who would be perfect to run routes for Favre? Immigrants.

  4. You mean the people who really cut his grass/ work his land?