It's about time.

Yep. He knew it then, and he was right.

Reggie Bush was a phenomenal college player. He just wasn't the best college player that year. Vince Young won more games by his lonesome. Reggie Bush was more or less the icing on the cake for USC, like if you parked a Ferrari on an aircraft carrier. Sure it's pretty sweet, but all in all pretty superfluous.

Win a game for us, Vince.


The reason I say this (other than how true it is), is that I'm trying to get a sense of why the Heisman committee did this. Talking with Stovall, he calmed me down and made me think rationally.

USC always had this huge media focus that entire season. Remember the month-long fellatio session that ESPN put on, putting out poll after poll showing that America believed the 2005 Southern Cal team to be better than every other championship team ever? Man, that was silly.

So maybe the intense media focus that they basked in is to blame. Could it be that playing under a microscope contributed to Reggie getting stripped of his Heisman? Probably. The NCAA has a long history of hypocrisy and idiocy. They've been on a rampage as of late, and probably felt like in addition to going after entire programs, they probably should spank one individual, and he was the one that they thought of first. Because he was their darling little chipmunk, yes he was.

They said that he "tarnished the reputation of the Heisman trophy." Do they know who they've been giving that trophy to? Not everybody can be Tim Tebow, you know. I'm just assuming here, but I'm willing to bet boosters did something for Tebow. Just a thought.

But then again, maybe they realized they made a huge-ass mistake, and would do anything to make it right. That's probably it.

Play us off real classy-like, Vince.

Vince Young wants you to get excited about CFB

Vince. Young. Scores.

Mike Vick Lands On Pet Beagle's Head After Freak Accident Seconds After Release From House Arrest

HAMPTON, Va. — Mere seconds after his release, former NFL quarterback Mike Vick is back in the "dog house" after walking out of his home, tripping on a stray pebble, and landing on a passerby's beloved pet beagle, Barkley, killing the animal nearly instantly.

"Dang it," said Vick, according to a police report.

Jogging enthusiast Shauna Robertson, owner of Barkley, said that she knew the former superstar was trouble the minute he walked out.

"He had this crazy look about him! He was saying something about 'Free at last,' and Oh! He killed Barkley," cried Robertson, who intends to press charges.

"'Free to KILL AGAIN at last is more like it," sobbed Robertson.

Attorneys for Vick say that Barkley was the victim of a happenstance, and that gravity and the pebble are the culprits.

No word on what Roger Goodell thinks of this latest fold in the Michael-Vick-being-crazy-and-killing-animals-like-a-psycho(TM) saga.

On the Go: Matt Jones, Pudge, and Cutler

The off-season is often wrought with players on the go to new locales, be it by their own volition or otherwise. Here's a brief of some notable names who are the latest to get the respective boot.

Matt Jones - WR, Jax Jags: Released.

Matt "Booger Sugar" Jones was mercifully let go by the Jacksonville Jack Del Rio's this morning. Jones, who was a star in his native land of Arkansas, has been a devastating disappointment, even in 2008, his "best" statistical year, hauling in a little under 800 yards.

Jones was sent to the pokey after admitting to drinking a few beers while playing golf a few days before his drug and alcohol test. What's even dumber than this is that it is reported that Jones was drinking Milwaukee's Best while golfing. So not only was Jones flushing his career down the pooper, but he was doing so with poorly-crafted brew.

For shame, Matthew.

I've waxed somewhat poetically on the disappointment of Jones' once bright future, and conclude again that he'll get picked up by Arkansas alum Jerry Jones. There he will try a little bit, catch one or two passes that will make some people go, "Hey, this guy is a professional football player," and nonchalantly chop up some more nose candy, this time in the finer company of Michael Irvin et al.

Ivan "Pudge" Rodriguez - C, New York Yankees: Signed with Astros.

The Pudge Train stops for no man, not even a Steinbrenner. Pudge has been traded to Houston for $1.5 large, with los opportunistas for $1.5 again.

Pudge is commonly known as the biggest whore in baseball, having played for nearly every team that has ever existed at one point or another. His latest Golden Glove was in 2007 when he happened to be playing for the Detroit Tigers when they happened to go to the World Series, meaning that the rest of the world would have to put up with him for at least another few years.

Pudge is a definite Hall of Famer, and has one of the neatest monikers in basebol. That's not to say he doesn't have a little bit of Farve in him. Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

Icehouse, translate all this for Pudge.

Jay Cutler - QB, Denver Broncos: Asking to be traded following afternoon nap.

Pshh. This guy. This guy and his pouting.

At first, I have to say that I kind of sided with Cutler. I mean, who wants to play for a guy who actively tried to ship you somewhere else before even meeting you.

Then I realized that this wasn't Pop Warner football, nor was it a charitable Powderpuff League. It's the NFL, where once-great players are kicked out the door without so much as a thank you once their talents wane to become "only better than average."

Steve McNair was the face of the franchise in Tennessee, and lead his team to a Super Bowl. And while perhaps management thought he was dumb enough to not notice or remember that he played for the Titans (and believe me, he's dumb enough to actually think that), the organization jobbed him good, and he landed on his neck in Baltimore.

I have much more respect for McNair than Cutler, and I just called the former nearly retarded. Quit whining. It's not like Denver is a gridiron haven. You're tremendously overrated right now, and maybe you're just trying to get yours before you get gone. But do there have to be so many tears? Your teenage angst does not serve you well, Mr. Sulkface.

Get over it. Scramble in the pocket. Make decent passes. And thank God you made it out of the Vanderbilt athletic department with a career in professional athletics.

Caption Contest!

Reporter: Hey, what string are each of you on the Titans?
Both: What the..?

or...

Vince: Hey, Chris, you know yous a bitch, right?

or...

Vince: This is the number of losses in my career with Texas.
Chris: This is the number of times Coach Brown took me out of the game because I sucked.

Friday Afternoon Fun Bag!

Just another Friday in paradise, y'all. What are you guys gonna do this weekend? Party? Sounds good.

So it's been a week. An extremely productive week by all standards. Did you guys see how many posts we had this week? It was a shitload! I would love to keep up this kind of momentum, we'll just have to see. I'm sure that football season will bring us plenty to talk about. Which reminds me, OMG OMG OMG it's almost here!!!!
Sorry, had to freak out just for a second. It's these florescent lights. Or these walls. Or...something.

Well, let's get to the fun, darn it. Because of how much success the last Shakira video garnered, here's another, even sexier one.

Speaking of international transplants, if you don't like soccer after this video, there's something wrong with you. Not that this video has anything to do with soccer, but it's just hilarious, fast, and to the point.

Moving on, in case some of you are unaware, there is still an NBA team in Canada, the Toronto Raptors. The best player on this wacky team is a Dallas native by the name of Chris Bosh. Bosh is not only great, an Olympian, and an All-Star, but he even looks like a Raptor. What does any of this have to do with his self-serving commercial? Not a damn thing.

You know what's great about the Olympics? Women playing sports.

In case you didn't get enough, because I know I didn't. Here is Steve Nash and Baron Davis doing what I imagine they do every day now. Check out Baron's face at the very beginning.

Anyways, that picture above is, in fact, Vince Young. He's probably not partying like that anymore, because in the words of Chris Cooley, NFL training camp is as fun as a bag of dicks.

Finally, Team USA plays Team Russia in basketball starting at 3:00am Eastern Time on Saturday night/Sunday morning. Need something to do when the bars close? Oh yeah, get on top of that. It's going to be better than Rocky IV.