Graham Watanabe fantasizes about unicorn porn.

Graham Watanabe (in the red jersey, kicking ass) is an elder statesman in the land of snowboard cross. At almost 28, he's far older than his main competition, fans, or even some coaches. In spite of not being, well... successful (31st in the Turin games, best finish in FIS competition is 6th), he's one of the bigger names, and a leader on the team.

But the Sun Valley native can still freak your ass out. It sounds like he gets weird with himself on a daily basis. He described his second Olympic appearance as, "Pegasus mating with a unicorn and the creature that they birth I somehow tame it and ride it to the sky and clouds and sunshine and rainbows."

Shyeah, brah!

If Bode Miller or Speedy Peterson said something like this, there would be media uproar about them being on something. Poppycock. If America learns one thing from Michael Phelps, it should be that recreational drugs make our Olympic athletes better. So keep kicking ass, Graham. We'll be watching this upcoming week. Hopefully in a similar state of mind as you.