Thursday, January 14, 2010

Grizzly Men


Crank it up, baby. It's going down in Bluff City. Nobody wants to go and play in the Forum anymore. It used to be the place to go, since the game was easy, and the parties were bomb-ass. Now it's different. Now you have to run your ass off when you play the Grizz, and chances are you aren't going to win. Then when you get to go get drunk, nobody with any self-respect wants to blow a loser like you. Ain't that some shit?

Some people thought that this crazy little experiment would never work. These people thought that the personalities were all wrong for any sort of success. Heck, even we were skeptical.

All of this success flies in the face of reason, to be sure. The front office shitbags draft and trade like they want to lose. Actually, they do. You see, there are two ways to run a team. Spending a dickload of money to win, or playing it cheap and throwing any dude with talent to the wind. Remember when they traded Pau Gasol for his brother? Who trades a family member for a family member and gets the worse end of the deal? Man, that infuriated me, and I don't even like Pau. And seriously, Hasheem Thabeet? Hasheem Thabeet's fat ass? When Tyreke Evans, Brandon Jennings and the Loveseat Dejuan Blair were all still on the board? Was I the only person watching the Loveseat beat Thabeet like an orphan in several games in college? God damn. Shitheads.

And then this crazy-ass experiment.

I was pretty damn happy when this happened. But... well... it didn't work. And... you know... I just... Fuck Allen Iverson.


OK. Insanity over. But once AI was bounced, this team went bonkers in a good way. Z-Bo is playing like a man possessed. He eats 30 and 20 games like Shaq in his prime. He deserves to be an All-Star. Too bad Tracy McGrady is going to be a starter in that game. Oh well.

Don't ever forget that Rudy Gay is the man. Ever. I really don't want him to ever leave the Grizz. It's inevitable, for sure, but he's been wonderful for them.

And Orange Juice Mayonnaise. Pimp. Muhfuckin. Tastic. He wins games. By scoring baskets and passing to people that score baskets for him. I can't even fathom how people didn't think that he and Rudy (who I'm gay for) couldn't play together. They are like Jordan and Pippen. If... you know... they were both Jordan. Or something. Look that was retarded, but fuck it. They're awesome.

They're still not a playoff team, due to the Oklahoma City Flavor Explosions and the New Orleans Assmouth Bugs. But we'll see. Heck, they might even win a playoff game for once, if they make it.

So hopefully we'll have some more in depth stuff on the Grizz, as Don Delaware is going to both of their games this weekend. Booker Pogue on the other hand? Probably beating it to John Wall.


  1. I mean, that's all great and everything. But did anyone notice the explosion of horsepower otherwise known as Brian Scalabrine last night? He's an unstoppable force, and he's only gaining strength. He's the real story today.

  2. Sundiata Gaines draining a three to beat the Cavs is kind of the shit. Also because Kyle Korver swatted LeBron. A taste of Bron's own medicine, delivered Kutcher-style.