Grizzly Men

HOLY SHIT! RUN! THE GRIZZ ARE A WINNING TEAM!

Crank it up, baby. It's going down in Bluff City. Nobody wants to go and play in the Forum anymore. It used to be the place to go, since the game was easy, and the parties were bomb-ass. Now it's different. Now you have to run your ass off when you play the Grizz, and chances are you aren't going to win. Then when you get to go get drunk, nobody with any self-respect wants to blow a loser like you. Ain't that some shit?

Some people thought that this crazy little experiment would never work. These people thought that the personalities were all wrong for any sort of success. Heck, even we were skeptical.

All of this success flies in the face of reason, to be sure. The front office shitbags draft and trade like they want to lose. Actually, they do. You see, there are two ways to run a team. Spending a dickload of money to win, or playing it cheap and throwing any dude with talent to the wind. Remember when they traded Pau Gasol for his brother? Who trades a family member for a family member and gets the worse end of the deal? Man, that infuriated me, and I don't even like Pau. And seriously, Hasheem Thabeet? Hasheem Thabeet's fat ass? When Tyreke Evans, Brandon Jennings and the Loveseat Dejuan Blair were all still on the board? Was I the only person watching the Loveseat beat Thabeet like an orphan in several games in college? God damn. Shitheads.

And then this crazy-ass experiment.

I was pretty damn happy when this happened. But... well... it didn't work. And... you know... I just... Fuck Allen Iverson.

/cries
//vomits

OK. Insanity over. But once AI was bounced, this team went bonkers in a good way. Z-Bo is playing like a man possessed. He eats 30 and 20 games like Shaq in his prime. He deserves to be an All-Star. Too bad Tracy McGrady is going to be a starter in that game. Oh well.

Don't ever forget that Rudy Gay is the man. Ever. I really don't want him to ever leave the Grizz. It's inevitable, for sure, but he's been wonderful for them.

And Orange Juice Mayonnaise. Pimp. Muhfuckin. Tastic. He wins games. By scoring baskets and passing to people that score baskets for him. I can't even fathom how people didn't think that he and Rudy (who I'm gay for) couldn't play together. They are like Jordan and Pippen. If... you know... they were both Jordan. Or something. Look that was retarded, but fuck it. They're awesome.

They're still not a playoff team, due to the Oklahoma City Flavor Explosions and the New Orleans Assmouth Bugs. But we'll see. Heck, they might even win a playoff game for once, if they make it.

So hopefully we'll have some more in depth stuff on the Grizz, as Don Delaware is going to both of their games this weekend. Booker Pogue on the other hand? Probably beating it to John Wall.

It's almost time for tip-off!

That's right, it is. The NBA starts the 27th. Last year I posted a whole host of divisional previews. Six of them, to be exact. The year before that, I did a 30 reasons to watch bit. This year... well this year I was just completely unprepared. And by unprepared I mean that I get home from work and don't care to sit in front of this glowing rectangle much more. So this year, you'll get a bunch of quick hits of little observations that I make.

Today's thing that makes me happy? DeJuan Blair.

Yeah. Dude is right. The Spurs picked this guy up with the 7th pick in the second round. He only was the best player on the most consistently good team of last year. For real real.

He's kind of short. Sure he sort of had knee problems. But he was still stomping around and funking on fools! Fools named Hasheem Thabeet! Remember him? That 7'3" worm with a fat ass had nothing on DeJuan. DeJuan throws his own ass around like he means it.

DeJuan likes playing hoops. He has the footwork, plays with his shoulders all up in grills, and hops. Man I love seeing dudes like this get up. He's got the long-ass arms to cock it back, and he throws down with a WHOOSH. Promptly thereafter, he plummets back to earth, like a beanbag chair tossed from a balcony. Bankshot? Check. Jumpshot? Check. Post moves? Check. Free throws? Nope, but we forgive a lapse at the line when you get boards. Does he get boards? Well, in his first preseason game, he put up 16 points and 19 rebounds in 22 minutes.

/rubs eyes

19 BOARDS?! IN 22 MINUTES?! Must have been some no names guarding him.

//watches film

Nope, it was Chuck Hayes and Luis Scola. If you can play against those guys, you can play against most jabronies in the League. DeJuan got that work.

Long story short, the dude is like Jason Maxiell, except likeable, and with an offensive game. I call him the Loveseat. We'll see if it catches on. Oh, and follow him on twitter. Having a happy-go-lucky dude on your web page is way better than some cocky assbag.

So yeah. Number 45 has me excited for the season.