Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Boise State girls are ugly

Well, they are. Take Meg, here, for instance.

She's the hottest one. And she is freaking me the hell out.

She could rent out her forehead as billboard space, to make some extra cash.

Anyway, all of this comes from me watching the Tostito's Fuck You Bowl last night. I just couldn't help but think about how horrible it would be to go to school at Boise State. One, you're not in a cool college town, you're in Assmouth Boise, Idaho, as opposed to Texas' best-kept secret, Fort Worth. do you like darkness and three months of hospitable weather a year? Then Boise is for you. Are you a normal human being that likes sunshine and the ability to walk outside? Fort Worth is your spot.

Maybe it's ok to go to school there, since every single girl is bundled up to the point that they just look like androgynous humanoid blobs walking around. It's like hanging out with a bunch of chicks in burkas... if... you know... burkas are made up of ugg boots [vomits] and six north face jackets.

But yeah. Them bitches be ugly. Aaaaaaaaand to put the exclamation point on this meandering hatefest, I present to you "Boise State Cowbell Girl," which has already been hailed as THE DECADE'S FIRST INTERNET MEME! WOOOOOO! GET EXCITED!

But really, comparing any school's female population to that of TCU's is unfair. Percentage-wise, I'd put them up against anybody. Like I said. Best kept secret.


  1. 1. blame Ian Johnson for taking the hottest girl out of Boise.

    2. Cowbell girl is blind so say your hail mary's after you take shots at her.

    3. Best part of the game was when the camera panned to a fan who happened to have a bag of Tostitos at the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl. HOW CONVENIENT!!!

    4. Fox Ruins my will to watch college football. According to those slapdicks CFB is a Play, shot of the band, shot of the cheerleaders, shot of fans, possible "X-Mo" replay of an incomplete pass on 2nd and 5. Would it be to much to ask if I can watch the game.

    5. The BCS tweeted to congratulate Boise this morning. the Tweet really meant. "Hey sorry for ripping out your testicles, but congrats on winning!!!"

    6. Check out this fucking propaganda blog. http://playoffproblem.com/wordpress/?p=88 "Fans from BYU would be upset to be left out of the playoffs." Right and Boise TCU Florida et. al. are fucking estatic about their situation in the BCS.

    7. Did I mention I hate Fox college football.

    8. I wish the BCS would just come out and say "look you dont like us, and we dont give a shit about you....but we make some bank from this setup so just take your bitching to yahoo." Really, I would handle it so much better.

    9. I heard Boise is actually a cool town, no idea on the actual university, but also heard that it has the highest homosexual population percentage. Not hating, just stating.

    10. I like lists.

  2. I feel really, really bad now, if cowbell girl is actually blind.


  3. This is also a great opportunity to remind everyone that I was on the Boise Bandwagon before everyone else.