Monday, January 17, 2011

Monday Morning Sh*t Storm

Wooo! Icehouse is at work, and nobody else is, meaning I'm going to post something that only I will read. Hope everybody's having fun today. At noon, I'm going to put the Grizz game on the TV in our office. I give it 8 minutes before the boss makes me change it back to Fox News. Super.

Anyway. Shit storm time. You probably watched the Pats/Jets game last night. It was great. One thing about it, though, was the fans. Sure, the Foxborough faithful had their normal assortment of ugly chicks and guys in brightly-colored tricorner hats, but there was a much more douchier brand of asshat last night.

Yep. Those guys. The kind of fan that mocks something complete peripheral to the game. "Hey! You've got a foot fetish! That makes me better than you!" People talk about the lack of class the Jets fans have, with good reason. But I didn't see any Jets fans in any of the three meeting this year with a sign that said "Bill Belichick is an adulterous asshole" or "Tom Brady is an absent father" or "Brandon Spikes does steroids and makes sex tapes."

I find it extremely lame when fans resort to off-the-field issues for their smack talk. "I'm going to knock you out" just resonates more with me than "your marriage is in trouble." Furthermore, it's always the stupidest loudmouth fuckwads that resort to it, probably because they don't know shit about sports in the first place.

So my question is, what is your least favorite famous fan or fan activity? Hate Fireman Ed? Cool. Hate the Saints' Moses? Ok, kinda weird, but whatever. My least favorite is the celebrities that use games as a way to get noticed. Jack Nicholson is a big-time fan, and a million kinds of awesome, so he's not the kind of person I'm talking about. Spike Lee, Jerry Seinfeld, they're all OK. I hate Dane Cook and Billy Crystal's guts, but they're still big fans, and are always supporting their teams. No, it's the fucking wieners that only show up when there's cameras around.

Personally, I'm a little baffled the Staples Center management lets farm animals into the arena.


  1. I didn't know Kim Kardashian had a brother! Looks like he enjoys him some hoops.

  2. LSU fans, particularly after a loss. LSU fans are the most brown-liquor dependent, absent-minded fans in the country. You know how much you hate SEC fans for their circular logic and insulated sense of entitlement? LSU fans specifically have got all of that, but the vocabulary of a six year old dog. It's that infuriating.

    LSU is my team's biggest rival (plus Texas, but we rarely play them and frankly don't even register on their radar with OU anymore)so maybe I'm a bit biased, but they talk SO MUCH TRASH. All of it through some sort of garbled, cajun dialect unheard by civilized ears. And after a loss? Like the one this year in Little Rock? "YOU GUYS ARE CLASSLESS! YOU HAVE NO CLASS! CLASSIER TEAMS WOULD'VE LET THE VISITING TEAM WIN! NO CLASS!"

    I hate them.

  3. Stovall, honest question.

    Do you even read the shit storms?

  4. To go along with icehouse's analysis I'd say that trendy fans really piss me off. They aren't really looking for the cameras, but they want to be associated with people looking for the cameras, if that makes sense?

    A good case is the Red Sox. They used to be this mediocre franchise with less than stellar attendance, then sometime around the Johnny Damon Kevin Millar (steroids) years you heard more about the dumbass curse and (go figure) ESPN started featuring the yankees/sox and hyping up the david vs goliath angle. at that point it became hip or cool to be a red sox fan. (although this has completely flipped in recent years, now everyone hates boston fans) I think the lowest point was a friend walking into a room with the franchise style Boston hat (the one every white guy owns) and literally six people were like "what the fuck are you wearing"

    Same thing could be said for the steelers and cowboys. they became these NFL franchises that represented THE NFL brand so you have a lot of people who grew up not really caring about NFL football and then at some point they are faced with the question every true american must face. "who do you root for in the NFL" These trendy fans immediately flock to these storied franchises because it says "hey i know good football" "I'm blue collar like the steelers or I'm flashy like the cowboys"

    It's not really an attack on the teams themselves, if anything it's a compliment. I just hate how people throw themselves in some fanbase to improve their image.

  5. Up on my list of hate is what I call the Ironic fans, "the hipsters of sports."

    They're the fans that root for obscure, shit franchises just so they can say they root for an obscure, shit franchise.

    I mean unless you grew up in pittsburgh there is no reason whatsoever to root for the pirates. For people our age they have never been relevant and they are a standard bearer of shit in MLB. Yet every once and a while I'll meet someone who for no apparent reason is a Pirates fan.


    Because they want to be different and they want to tell you they've suffered so many years of shit teams, yet they know everything about the franchise. Furthermore, they want maybe one good team from the team just so they can tell people they've been true fans for years.

    this is also applied to some clippers and Royals fans.

  6. The Human Interest fans. They're hard to hate, because they like a good, sappy story, but come on. Fuck off with the "he's such a nice guy I'm so happy he's winning."

    Tony Romo was originally like that. Kurt Warner is the biggest one.

  7. I guess I read it famous fans, but yes, I read the shit storms. /fartnoise