Monday, January 3, 2011

Beauty Queen Interviews Baltimore Ravens

One is famous because he's the much ballyhooed, seldom successful quarterback. He's also rich, white and hasn't found a better job in DC yet (they're hiring!), making him a rarity in Baltimore. The other is famous because of a movie where Sandra Bullock befriends a minority with a heart of gold (also a rarity in Hollywood!).

Enter the beauty queen. Hollow? Yes. Superficial? Yes. Hard-hitting and in-depth interviewer? Um. No.

Joe Flacco:

Michael Oher:

Now, some people would have preferred a Miss South Carolina moment of rambling incoherence, but I'm happy with the videos as they are.

What are their favorite spots in Baltimore? The gym, because that's where they get paid and fuck every other part about that city. Both players are wearing aprons. The video appears to be shot and edited by a six-year-old. Just keep nodding, Miss Maryland. They're bound to respect your journalism that way.

Flacco is baffling in how boring he is. He is as exciting as a blank legal pad sitting on a gray carpet in an empty room. His video is nothing short of awful.

Oher at least has a personality and tries to show it, but Miss Maryland seems to be confused and frightened that she is talking to Michael Oher and not Quinton Aaron, so she inexplicably lets some dude interview him. That's closet racism in the flesh people!

One way or another, these videos are the worst things I've seen involving professional athletes, but it's for a good cause, so what the fuck.