Albert: Ho K guys da season dint go as we ha planned so I tink we need to really reevaluate who we are as a team.
I like to start dis meeting out as a prayer.
Yadi grab my hand.
Yadi Whatever you say mang.
Albert Dear Lord Jesus we ask......
A L B E R T PUJOLS
Albert WHAT MANG!!!
Boog HEY MAN WHAT'S UP!? Hey, will you sign my baseball card?
Albert Mang we are trying to have prayer.
Boog Yeah man, talkin to Jesus, love that guy. Anyway I was just thinking that you could sign this baseball card for me and then maybe this whole stack of memorabilia so I can hang it in my room. Along with my fathead posters.
Albert Mang jus stop talking, jus stop.
Ok does anybody have anything to say? Matt?
Holliday What uhhh hey do you guys know a good gold hot tub guy?
Albert mang, Franklin?
Franklin so tear me open but beware there's things inside without a care, but the hurt still stains me.....so hold me until I'm clean.
IT GRIPS YOU SOOOOOOO BAAAAAAAAAD!
/turns off amp
McClellan FUCK I JUST HATE THIS SHIT, I JUST LOOK AT THE BATTER AND I GET SO....SO.....ANGRY!!!! FUCK WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN THE PLAYOFFS FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
/bangs head against wall repeatedly.
Wainers Chillin Bro
Carpenter Well when you look back on it we really didn't play consistently and....
Chris WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT YOU ADHD FUCKHEAD
/boog pulls out baseball card
No I won't sign your baseball card, in fact I don't even know why you're still on the team. you have two jobs. TWO FUCKING JOBS. Play defense, and hit at least .700 OPS. What did you do? Your non attentive ass had 17 errors and hit for .573 OPS do you know what that makes you? That makes you Ken fucking Hamlin. No, not the football player.
Albert shhhhhhh skip is coming.
LaTony Oh hey it's the slap dick gang. Let me tell you. You guys are a bunch of fucking winners. I mean it takes a special group to beat the best teams in the NL and lose two out of three to the Pittsburgh Pirates.
THE FUCKING BUCCOS!
I am a god damn genius, i have fucking mountains of information that you couldn't even begin to comprehend, I know Zambrano's tendencies when he pitches at night, after two shits, 60 degrees on a fucking waning moon, I....
What, what the fuck are you looking at?
LaTony Ohhhhh whats the matter? Did mommy and daddy not love you enough as a child? Do you have awot of pwessuwe on you?
Colby well actually....
LaTony WELL FUCK YOUR PRESSURE. I'm here trying to win championships, I'm trying to prove that I'm not only the most intellectual man in baseball, but also human existence. I DRINK FINE WINE, I SAVE FUCKING PUPPIES!!! You all better do some soul searching this offseason because i dont know if I'll be back given that my shortstop has ADHD, my relievers have anger management problems, and our future center fielder hangs out with the Khalil crowd. Oh and fuck you skip, for being so god damn normal. I mean we lost to the Reds. The god damn Reds.
None of this is directed at you Albert.
Albert Noted mang
LaTony Fuck this Dave, let's go back to California.
Boog Hey man Cali sounds awesome let's road trip....
Albert Shut up, let's go Yadi, Diedra is making chicken and beans.
Yadi Ok mang.
Boog So Chris about that card....