Monday, October 4, 2010

Peyton Hillis Groggily Eats Bowl of Nuts and Bolts Instead of Traditional Cinnamon Toast Crunch

CLEVELAND, OH - Browns RB Peyton Hillis, groggy after a late-start this morning, reportedly at three pounds of nuts, bolts, washers, and other assorted bits of hardware, having mistaken the metal pieces for his morning bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

"Aw, dammit," said Hillis, a bruising 230lbs. back who was traded from Denver and has become the workhorse for the Browns. "I musta been on auto-pilot this morning. Ate some metal stuff again."

Hillis admitted that he realized his mistake about halfway through his bowl of metalware, but had "already used most of the milk and woulda hated to waste it like that." He also stated that eating three pounds of food for breakfast was not out of the ordinary, and that once he, Coach Eric Mangini and GM Mike Holmgren at 140 lbs. during one mini-camp breakfast.

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