Local Man Crapping His Pants About Upcoming Company Golf Outing

TUSCON — Tim Spellman, a new associate at Brandt Leland, is absolutely crapping his pants about the upcoming annual golf outing with fellow associates and his boss, Greg Leland.

"Apparently, everyone's doing it. They came up and asked me if I wanted in, since they needed someone else to fill in the foursome anyway," said a visibly shaken Spellman. "Man, I suck at golf."

Aside from practicing for three to four hours after work for the past three weeks, Spellman has also been walking around the office, miming a golf swing, and grimacing audibly in pain.

Rumors have been funneling out of Leland's office since last Thursday that the golf outing is just a ruse.

"I mean, we're all going golfing, but no. No, we're sending him to a whole other course. He is a spaz," said Leland, while laughing at Spellman's personnel file.