Thursday, January 29, 2009

If you thought Earl Clark didn't like flattops...


Andre Iguodala apparently hates Yao's flattop more.

For the past three summers, Andre Iguodala has been the leader of the USA Select Team. This job entails several things. One, being athletic. A huge part of being on USA Select is that you have to run. All the time. It is up to you to give something the Kobes and LeBrons need to keep up with. You are the goddamn rabbit on the dog track.

Being a leader and also a 2 on the Select team also means one big thing. You get to guard Kobe. Day in, day out. You on Kobe. It's the worst job in sports. Worse than Gus Triandos trying to catch Hoyt Wilhelm's knuckleball. Can you imagine how bad chasing Kobe Bryant around all day would be? And you don't get any calls? And when you finally get to be on offense you can only do fast breaks?

Fuck that shit.

What was Andre Iguodala's reward? Nothing. Not a fucking thing. Everybody else gets to go to Beijing and put on a spectacular show and get feted and adored by the entire world. And Iggy Pop gets a pat on the back, and sent back to Philadelphia.

So now. Half a world and half a year later, he sees this fucking Chinese flattop looking at him. Iguodala's response? Please see above. Air-to-hoop Iggy Pop.

12 comments:

  1. It was actually illegal for Yao Ming to properly defend against that slamma jamma with his new flat top hair cut seeing how yao would have kung foo'd right through iggy pops arm

    ReplyDelete
  2. caption contest: Iggy: "bet that shit never happened in Japan."

    Emo Yao: "I Chinese not Japanese"

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yao Ming's name is like a bad Jeff Fox Worth joke. Yao Ming?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yo Lattimer, Caption contest meets open dialogue forum (building off your post)



    Iggy: "bet that shit never happened in Japan."

    Emo Yao: "I Chinese not Japanese"

    Iggy: "Fine, I bet this shit happens all the time in China, Qin Dynasty motha fucka"

    ReplyDelete
  5. I Hear you Brian:

    Iggy: "bet that shit never happened in Japan."

    Emo Yao: "I Chinese not Japanese"

    Iggy: "Fine, I bet this shit happens all the time in China, Qin Dynasty motha fucka"

    (Not Seen) Elton Brand: "YOOOOO Wu Tang Clan aint nothin to fuck with."

    ReplyDelete
  6. Iggy: "bet that shit never happened in Japan."

    Emo Yao: "I Chinese not Japanese"

    Iggy: "Fine, I bet this shit happens all the time in China, Qin Dynasty motha fucka"

    (Not Seen) Elton Brand: "YOOOOO Wu Tang Clan aint nothin to fuck with."

    Iggy: "Damn it! i forgot the Chinese picked them up during the racial draft" No worries, i'm gunna school you Wu bitches so bad, method and red are going to get kicked out of Harvard...again

    ReplyDelete
  7. Samuel Dalembert (finally catching up): I'm from Canada!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Chick Audience member: O my Godddddd! Iggy Pop just drizzled sweet dunk butter all over Yao Ming face...hope he charged extra for that

    ReplyDelete
  9. Yao, Yo hair is so flat i used yo head as a step to dunk over you

    ReplyDelete