I think I'm going to run with Icehouse's little Winter sport shtick.
Everyone loves skiing. The snow, the fresh air, the scenery. It's so lovely. A lot of people get crazy over the fresh powder, wide open bowls, or the glade runs. But not me. Don't get me wrong I absolutely love all of that stuff, however, in my mind the best part of skiing is hating. That's right hating. I know many of you may view the chair lift as a time of boredom, or even awkwardness,(Need a single?)but you have to realize it is prime hating opportunity.
Think about it.
"Oh my god this guy has to turn...turn...shit man turn...oh my god...the ditch...BAIL BAIL BAIL...ouch."
Don't act like you've never done that before.
Anyway crashes are cool, but I feel like a major dick whenever I make fun of people crashing.
So what do I do instead?
Make fun of all the ridiculous outfits found on a ski hill!!!
Crashing is one thing, I've caught an edge many times in my life, sometimes it's out of your control. However, what you wear skiing is a conscious decision, which means we get to make fun of you.
It's not enough just to say hey look at that guy, no no no, we have to go to the extreme by categorizing the various personalities.
An example to get us started:
Outfit-Skier. White mock turtleneck worn under the tightest bibs possible. +1 for a sweater and turtleneck.
Drink of choice-Hot Cider.
You don't ski? Don't worry, the lodge is a great place to make fun of people.
You're worried about the 8 dollar beers? Ok, you are wearing a puffy coat...with 500 pockets...connect the dots.
Ok so let's get these names going. Shit Storm Begin.