Thursday, July 22, 2010

70% of Americans responded that Quinnipiac just became less sexy



It's official: Cheerleading not a sport.


So basically Quinnipiac tried to give the ole reach around to title IX by removing Volleyball and replacing it with Cheerleading. THEN use the saved revenue to fund dude sports.


Volleyball players get pissed and some legal stuff happens issue ends up in court.


So what does Mr. asshole judge decide to do?

"Competitive cheer may, some time in the future, qualify as a sport under Title IX," Underhill wrote. "Today, however, the activity is still too underdeveloped and disorganized to be treated as offering genuine varsity athletic participation opportunities for students."


Way to cock block asshole.

I think Icehouse sums up this decision best:

Shut up you old robed assholes! We spent decades making these chicks think they were doing something athletic, and now they're just going to throw away their miniskirts!"


My thoughts exactly.

Now, the crooked judge said that in order to become a sport, cheerleading would have to meet specific criteria, like competing and having a governing body. Well of course cheerleaders compete. They made like 10 movies about it. AND Quinnipiac formed their own governing body. It's like...official and stuff. It's just like gymnastics. Kinda.


All this legal mumbo jumbo is making my head hurt, I think we need to bring in GRH's legal analyst Elliot to sort this mess out.

Boobies!!!


I KNOW!!!

Anyway Mr. Fancy Pants may have his standards, but I have my own 100% accurate way to determine if a sport is in fact a sport and deserves to leave club ball and become a part of the pure and majestic pantheon that isf college sports.

Do they compete?


Yes

Do they have uniforms?

YES

Do they meet rigourous academic standards?

Yes

Backflips?

Yes

Do they party?

Yes

Do they haze Freshman

Yes

Do they post things on facebook that would get them in trouble?

Yes

Do they have massive coke parties?

YES

See just like any other college athlete.

Chris and Christy Cooley know a little something about cheerleading. Chris sort this shit out.

/Looks at wife
"Oh yeah it's totally a sport"

Gah, whats the problem. It's even Co-ed. I think it's fairly obvious that cheerleading is in fact a sport and this judge has done nothing short of pushing Women's Rights movement back 50 years. What are the cheerleaders supposed to do now? Just stand there and look sexy?

But here's the thing. Quinnipiac started by doing something cool, but now they're going to take their ball and run to their unsexy home.

School officials responded to the ruling by saying they would start a women's rugby team




This is an OUTRAGE!!!

We can't take this lying down. We need to fight for the right to cheer (officially).

I ask you Hobbers who will cheer for the cheerleaders?

2 comments:

  1. "in order to become a sport, cheerleading would have to meet specific criteria, like competing and having a governing body."

    I'll govern that body.

    YAKNOWWHATIMSAYIN

    ReplyDelete
  2. Quinnipiac might have gotten less sexy, but GRH got much sexier, purely due to this post.

    ReplyDelete