Wednesday, September 3, 2008


In Jacksonville, Aloha means, "There's no fucking drugs or guns in my car!"

Ok, late-night clubbing and NFL players is usually a recipe for disaster (see: Williams, Darrent; Jones, Adam "Pacman") but this one almost seems silly.

Jacksonville Police officers responded at 4 a.m. to a joint called Club Cristal (like the champagne) because of an altercation there. The officers were told by someone that there could be guns, and pointed out Taylor's wife's car. Fred Taylor, along with his wife and friends were then ordered out of the car at gunpoint. Taylor was also patted down and handcuffed while the police searched the car. The initial search revealing nothing, the cops brought in a drug dog to check out the ride. At each instance, Taylor became more and more vocal about his annoyance at being handcuffed and his wife's car searched. The drug-sniffing dog put him over the top, and he was subsequently arrested and charged with disorderly conduct.

So Taylor committed absolutely no crimes, and when he was angry about being treated like a criminal, they charged him with one? Absurd. I hope he yelled something to the extent of, "I am Jacksonville's all-time leading rusher you ungrateful pieces of shit! What fucking good are you doing? You like fumbles, fat boy? That's what you're earning this city keeping my hands like this!" Or something like that. But seriously, after an initial search revealing nothing, they bring in a dog? Innocent until proven guilty means very little if the people who you pay to protect you (and you pay more than anyone else in the mosquito-infested overweight poor excuse for Florida shithole) to pull out all the stops to find something to prove you guilty with. Finally, when they can't prove you guilty, they make it a crime to yell.

Also, isn't there a crime, or at least a statute that prevents false accusations?

Finally, if you have a really nice Benz, would you want some dog you don't know running around in it, sniffing and scratching everything? That would make me ornery, as well.

Threat levels-
Fred Taylor: DWB
Jax Cops: Boss Hogg


  1. $20 says Maurice Jones-Drew goes free after handing the officer his license with a nice pat on the back, maybe after signing an autograph or two.

  2. As no outside sources were cited or linked, nothing would make me happier than knowing that this was entirely fabricated by Southpaw Pete.