Thursday, June 10, 2010

English Defender Ledley King Impaled By Shards of Broken Glass After Running with Boxful of Broken Glass

CAPE TOWN, SOUTH AFRICA - English defender Ledley King was tragically impaled by thousands of shards of broken glass of varying sizes and girth after picking up a large and cumbersome box that was heavily filled to the brim with the aforementioned, already broken pieces of glass.

"Led's one of the fastest, hardest-working guys on the whole squad," said English midfielder Shaun Wright-Phillips. "When he saw that big cardboard box that had 'BROKN GLASS' on it in the middle of our practice facility, he went right for it, tried to move as quickly as possible. Then he tripped over his own left foot and, oh my, what a mess."

This makes King ineligible for the match against the United States on Saturday, as he'll be undergoing a week-long, extremely painful glass removal surgery, as soon as proper recycling authorities are found to take the glass afterward.

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