With our successful acquisition of the Charlotte Hobbcats, GRH was set to acquire the struggling St. Louis NFL franchise. However it seems that our email responses were not quick enough because national beacon of hope Rush Limbaugh is putting together a proposal with Blues owner Dave Checketts to purchase a majority ownership of the St. Louis Rams. That's correct, the pride of Cape Girardeau has a very good chance of running the St. Louis Rams. Watch out Al, Jerry, and Daniel because if you thought the smear campaign against Obama was bad you aint seen nothing yet.
Now many of you may laugh off this idea, but as a Rams fan this hits home, and to be honest nothing but good can come of this. First off Think about the increased fan base. Rush is easily the highest rated talk radio personality and when he tells his viewers to root for the Rams they'll ask "How hard." PLUS we'll get nightly updates on the Rams from Sean Hannity. ESPN east coast bias be damned.
Another factor is the impending end of the salary cap. In this type of climate, a fiscal conservative is EXACTLY what the Rams need. Honestly, with all the chips on the table why waste money on silly things like free agents, re-signing players, scouts, or coordinators. You see if RUSH does well the money will simply trickle down to the players, and through competition we will become unstoppable.
As we all know, injuries become a problem in the NFL and I have no doubt that Rush will provide the team with the best health care possible. Given that it is not provided by the team, or the Federal Government.
Rush is a controversial figure, that goes without saying, but I think there will be a huge MSNBC/Daily Kos/Huffington post backlash against our team. This could pose potential problems, however Rush will have it figured out when he hires Sara Palin as our PR rep!!! I can't think of a better individual to quit her position because the vicious attacks in the media. Her resignation will make Bill Maher's head spin. SUCK ON IT LIBERALS!!!
Rush and I go way back, and since GRH showed an interest in the team Rush and I talked about the type of team we can expect in the coming years. I was saddened over the loss of Victor Adeyanju over birth certificate conflicts, however I'm really excited on the projected roster moves.
Offense: (Wishbone)
QB: Kurt Warner
FB: Brian Leonard
LHB:
RHB: Toby Gerhart (2010 first round draft pick)
LT: Jake Thomas
LG: Steve Hutchinson
C: Matt Birk (out of retirement)
RG: Richie Incognito
RT: Robert Gallery
TE: Todd Heap
SE: Hines Ward
Defense: (Variant of 7-1 diamond)
DT: Chris Hovan
DT: Dan Klecko
SE: Chris Long
RE: Jared Allen
SLB: Brian Cushing
MLB: James Laurainitus
WLB: AJ Hawk
FS: Jim Leohnard
SS: Tom Zbikowski
CB: Jason Seahorn
CB: Deangelo Hall
After hearing that all I can say is RAM IT!!!
And as always take your flame wars to....fuck it flame away.
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There's enough 1980's sexual ennuendo in Ram It! to make all of our dads laugh themselves crazy.
ReplyDeleteRush will take care of all of that promiscuity.
ReplyDeleteLHB: JACOB Hester
ReplyDelete/fixed
"LHB: JACOB Hester
ReplyDelete/fixed"
Oh wow, talk about a Freudian slip.
I've come to the conclusion that this situation can only turn out incredibly awesome. First, we will become the most hated team by the liberal elite. This means I will become an NFL renegade. Second, The Rams will need a new stadium at some point. For all intents the Jones dome is a glorified bunker where they happen to hold football contests. IF they get a new stadium and happen to use taxpayer money, the shit will hit the fan. Finally Icehouse made a good point that there will simply be a ton of crazy shit like the Rams not playing on CBS until they fire David Letterman.
ReplyDeleteAt the end of the day we'll get more attention because honestly, nobody gives a shit about the Rams.
I'd like to nominate Bear Bryant as coach, Oliver North as Offensive Coordinator, and an electric chair as defensive coordinator.
ReplyDeleteAnd that's a pretty gay tie.
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