Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Stovall: The trailer for the new film The Blind Side has been released. It stars Sandra Bullock and a litany of other actors.
Icehouse: Based on the book by Michael Lewis of the same name, it appears to be some director's attempt to piggyback the next big thing, which is apparently anything Michael Lewis does (even though Moneyball just got axed).
Stovall: It's the compelling story of a large, socially offputting African-American boy and his struggles on the street. Just spitballing here, but I think he goes to Ole Miss, wrecks house, and gets drafted in the first round, now able to buy thousands and thousands of the beds he could never have afforded growing up.
Icehouse: The book begins with an explanation of the psyches of adults that grew up in unfortunate circumstance. This discussion is based on fears that these men probably did not encounter while devoid of a normal childhood. It then shifts to explain recent trend in the NFL landscape to value defensive ends, and therefore their counterparts, offensive tackles. Essentially, the tackle must counteract the end, thus protecting the quarterback's blindside. Get it? Football begets football in the book.
Apparently, The beginning of this movie is a platinum-bleached half-assed mom who won't clean up after her kids and can't cook for shit.
Stovall: It looks uplifting enough. Maybe not my cup of tea, but I'm pretty sure this might affect some people in a positive way, like Remember the Titans, or Lucas.
Icehouse: They used "How to save a life" by The Fray in their trailer. How lame can you possibly be? They waited for something to be so played out that it is featured on Scrubs, then wait three years, THEN puts it into their movie trailer.
Stovall: I'm not concerned with Sandra Bullock being the star of a film about football. She's a more than capable actress, and pretty easy on the eye's as well. Joan Rivers would be one thing, Meg Ryan even, but I have to think that the romantic interest of Speed could handle the wear and tear of the gridiron.
Icehouse: Bullock's character is a strong person in the book. A central character? Maybe. But this is about how NCAA recruiting has become a business of tracking in human flesh. The coaches see nothing but an enormous prototype that is light on his feet. The entire family (not just the mom, but the younger son and teenage daughter) get to learn Mike Oher's humanity in the process of the journey to stardom.
Stovall: It'll be interesting to see the racial complexities of such a story. Social stigmas being what they are, I think it could translate very well to numerous audiences.
Icehouse: This movie could be an exploration into the problems and inequalities making current conditions and 'stigmas' the way they are. It could bring people together. Instead I think I'm looking at "suburbanite woman's life becomes complete when she finally earns the respect of the country club." It makes me want to vomit.
Stovall: And plus, I love me some football crashes. They big time booms to ever tackle to make it seem harder. When I walked past Gridiron Gang, starring the Rock (want to make it very clear, I walked by, did not go in), it sounded like Pearl Harbor.
Icehouse: Oh, there's football in this movie? That's funny. I didn't notice. I DID see Sandra Bullock on a field surrounded by boys in football pads. HOW FUCKING INTENSE COULD THAT PRACTICE BE?!
Stovall: I'll be very interested to see this film.
Icehouse: I'm currently stockpiling fertilizer, and am planning on driving a Uhaul full of the stuff, fermented into bomb-quality, into the studio on the day of this piece of shit's release. FUCK! FUCK! FUCK YOU!