American Patriot, Scholar, Flavor aficionado, All-World Badass.
These are some of the many words used to describe the innagural GRH bracket champion.
Joey.
Some of you may not know Joey, many of us however know him quite well.
Not only is he a member of the 500+ rebound club, which places him in the top 25 all time of the SCAC, but he also singlehandedly rebuilt the Mississippi coast following Hurricane Katrina.
Oh and I must mention that he played Jonathan Bender for the title of "Best Basketball Player in Picayune."
Naturally he won.
You see as soon as I saw the words "Alabama State all the way" followed by Joey. I knew this whole thing was over. Icehouse knew the same thing which is probably why he picked Texas to win it all just so he could feel good about his bracket. Hell Stovall saw this as such a foregone conclusion that he didn't even take 20 seconds to fill out a bracket.
Hobbers, I made you think you could win, you thought you had a chance, you thought I'd be writing about you right now. You didn't know what we knew. I misled you. And for that I am truly sorry.
But all is not lost. We had some great bracket names such as "I win so much HAHAHAHAHAHA" (And trust me he does) a personal favorite was "Breakfast Tacos and Glory." Let us also remember "The Ghost of Kenny Powers" because we all know Kenny cares about real sports, and does not want to be the best at exercising. Finally we should also look at "Don't Tase me Hansbrough" who inexplicably predicted the world would end some time around the final four, and the finals would never occur. A bold move to say the least.
But all of that doesn't matter, we are all losers.
Everyone bow down to Joey, because this is his 500+ shining moment.
Ok, ok, ok. I know it’s not a “Sports Movie.” Hear me out.
Sports plays a large factor in the movie, and plays a pivotal role in the development of one of the central characters. Plus, it kind of connects to a lot of current things, so, shut up and listen.
Boyz N The Hood is the coming to age story of Tre Styles, Ricky Baker, and Doughboy Baker, following them from childhood up to the cusp of adulthood, in the poverty-ridden environment of south-central Los Angeles. The three take essentially the three different paths available to those of this plight.
Tre, raised until the age of eleven by his mother (who earns a master’s degree and becomes a denizen of a higher social status), is taken in by his father, Furious. His life is maintained by a strict code of ethics set forth from his father, with words of wisdom like, “any fool can make a baby, but it takes a man to be a father.” Tre has a job, excels in school, and is ambitious and driven enough to make college a reality.
Doughboy, played aptly by Ice Cube (the dude that makes family movies?!), is the opposite. In and out of prison, his life is consumed by drugs, alcohol, and the perpetual and cyclical violence which he himself perpetuates, and succumbs to, postscript.
Tre’s best friend and Doughboy’s half-brother is Ricky Baker. This is where the movie intersects with our interests. Ricky has been sports-obsessed since a young age and is now an All-American Running Back for Crenshaw High School, is highly touted and recruited to play the position at USC. Ricky is not without his setbacks. Like of many of the same young men in his situation, he is already a father, and does not excel in school. When the recruiter comes to talk to Ricky, he is obviously put off by the young son, and sends Ricky into a spiral of self-doubt when he mentions that Ricky must score at least a seven hundred on the SAT to be eligible to play at Southern Cal.
Tre is the exception whose eyes we see the movie through. He has two supportive parents and seemingly only has the weakness of female attention. Doughboy and Ricky, on the other hand have the same mother, but we know nothing else of their fathers. Crime is the only avenue that Doughboy seems destined for, and football is the only outlet – and way out – for Ricky. This seems to be a prevailing notion, for when the USC recruiter comes to visit Ricky, one of Doughboy’s associates asks for a scholarship, saying, “I want to go to college, too.”
I won’t spoil the end for those of you that would like to know where it goes, but needless to say, it’s not a feel-good movie.
What got me on this line of thinking is a game that tips off here in a little less than an hour. How many times in the last weekend have you read something about how great it would be for the state of Michigan if Michigan State were to win tonight? Seriously, how many? It’s all anybody can talk about, really. I’m not trying to take anything away from the accomplishments of the Spartans, they’ve done very well, and been pretty fun to watch. OMFG! FUNK!
What I don’t want is for sports to be the only thing that these people have to cheer about. I don’t want people in Detroit, Flint, or any other impoverished Michigan community thinking that sports is the only thing that can heal a community that has been ailing for decades.
Maybe I’m reading to much into it, maybe I’m just being a jerk, but it seems to me like it’s just a scrap of happiness being thrown their way, while the real pervasive problems of their society go largely ignored.
Put it another way. In the words of Doughboy, “Just goes on and on, you know? Either they don’t know, don’t show, or don’t care about what’s going on in the hood.”
What a wonderful weekend, but now it's Monday, which can only mean two things. 1. Responsibility. 2. Shit Storm.
Technically last night the MLB season got under way, but everyone knows today is REALLY opening day. This marks the start of MLB's 7 month marathon which provides us with something to watch on that Wednesday night in July, as well as mind-boggling fantasy stats. (Seriously the league I'm in must have every stat known to man)
Baseball also marks prime funny sport story reason. I don't know why, but when people talk about going to baseball games the funny/awesome seems to follow them.
So for the Shit Storm, give us your best baseball story.
Here's mine:
the year was 2001, and my friend somehow got green seats (first 4 rows) down the first base line at old Busch Stadium. The Cardinals were playing the Mets which meant everyone's favorite gay catcher was in town.
Mike Piazza. That son of a bitch.
Anyway, since we were close to the action we did what any 16 year old would do. Make fun of Piazza's sexual orientation.
Luckily for us Piazza went 4/4 that night which gave us numerous opportunities to rain down verbal thunder. My friends had much better zingers, but I think my best line was "Hey Mike I bet you got hot and heavy when that coach just slapped your ass." Not the best line, but I felt like a 16 year old genius at the time.
Obviously we had zero effect on his playing, but we definitely caught his attention. During a pitching break Mike was stretching on first, my buddy yelled out. "Gee Mike after all these years I figured your asshole would be stretched out by now." Mike then turned around and stared us down for the remainder of the break.
Looking back on it we probably shouldn't have offended the gay community by associating them with Mike Piazza, but hey we were 16.
Ok share your stories, and try not to offend entire groups of people with your comments.
I guess you didn't hear, but Icehouse was arrested late last night for being too awesome and revered. And likely shirtless.
So Lattimer and I have teamed up to give you the weekly and much ballyhooed Friday Afternoon Funbag.
We hope to live up to it's honored tradition. Reigning AL MVP Dustin "Luckily I Play a Sport That Requires Hats to Cover My Balding Head" Pedroia is clearly pumped about it.
Frankly, I'm tired of being nice now. Let's do this mother and get out, because it's Friday and I've got the itch.
We here at the Ghost don't much care for ESPN. We do, however, care a great deal about Norm "October?" Macdonald. Here is his legendary 1998 ESPY awards monologue. It's worth skipping work to watch.
And just to make sure we cover all of our pertinent Billy Madison bases, this lady called the shit 'poop.'
Like guns? Don't like pesky and "reasonable" legislation that keeps you from purchasing a gun? Like crazy honkies who have definitely killed someone as a direct result of their negligence? Then this guy is for you.
The imitable Ron Burgundy sharpens his journalistic prowess on UNC Coach Roy "Not the NFL Guys" Williams.
Thumbs up to my good buddy Lance Turner. LT and I have been on TV together and we've each done our share of radio bits in the Natural State. We usually sound something like this.
Old People Playing Sports is as Humorous as it is Uplifting.
Yeah. So. That's it. Get out there and be somebody.
"That fucker's crowding the plate. Not on my watch!"
or...
"Who did the Nationals get to throw out the first pitch? What?! Well, what about the Rangers? JESSICA SIMPSON?! So where am I going? Aw, shit."
In respect for the upcoming glory that is Opening Day, a caption contest. As always, I know you can do better than the above captions, and keep it clean.
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