Friday Afternoon Funbag!

I guess you didn't hear, but Icehouse was arrested late last night for being too awesome and revered. And likely shirtless.

So Lattimer and I have teamed up to give you the weekly and much ballyhooed Friday Afternoon Funbag.

We hope to live up to it's honored tradition. Reigning AL MVP Dustin "Luckily I Play a Sport That Requires Hats to Cover My Balding Head" Pedroia is clearly pumped about it.

Frankly, I'm tired of being nice now. Let's do this mother and get out, because it's Friday and I've got the itch.

We here at the Ghost don't much care for ESPN. We do, however, care a great deal about Norm "October?" Macdonald. Here is his legendary 1998 ESPY awards monologue. It's worth skipping work to watch.

And just to make sure we cover all of our pertinent Billy Madison bases, this lady called the shit 'poop.'

Like guns? Don't like pesky and "reasonable" legislation that keeps you from purchasing a gun? Like crazy honkies who have definitely killed someone as a direct result of their negligence? Then this guy is for you.

The imitable Ron Burgundy sharpens his journalistic prowess on UNC Coach Roy "Not the NFL Guys" Williams.

Ron Burgundy Interviews Roy Williams (UNC) from Ron Burgundy

Thumbs up to my good buddy Lance Turner. LT and I have been on TV together and we've each done our share of radio bits in the Natural State. We usually sound something like this.

Old People Playing Sports is as Humorous as it is Uplifting.

Yeah. So. That's it. Get out there and be somebody.

Holla.Holla.Holla.Holla.Holla.Holla.Holla.Holla.Holla.Holla.Holla.Holla.Holla.

Sh*t! We lost!

POINT:
Seth Coy: Shit! We lost!

Man... bounced in the first round.

But spring break is still going on, right? I can probably make it back to that secluded lake and murder a few scantily-clad sexy vacationers before Monday.

That'll be sweet.

COUNTERPOINT:
Ryan Rossiter: ALRIGHT! We get to keep playing!

Check me out, Linus! You better put that 22-sided die away and forget about me coming to play D&D tonight, because this level eight wizard is still dancing!

When this magical dream finally ends, I'll be the biggest man on campus. If the door to the girl's substance-free dorm back in upstate New York isn't frozen shut, you better believe I'll be hanging outside of it with some chocolates and my collection of Franz Ferdinand CDs, just waiting for some girl to slip up and make eye contact with me.

This is the best weekend of my life.