Better than the rest of the pitchers on the Reds.
or...
"That fucker's crowding the plate. Not on my watch!"
or...
"Who did the Nationals get to throw out the first pitch? What?! Well, what about the Rangers? JESSICA SIMPSON?! So where am I going? Aw, shit."
In respect for the upcoming glory that is Opening Day, a caption contest. As always, I know you can do better than the above captions, and keep it clean.
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