Monday Morning Sh*t Storm

My roommate is a teacher. Which seems pretty awesome, because he gets summers off like the students. But unfortunately, it means he gets pretty broke in the summer until he finally gets a second job. This year, his second job was demolition. It was pretty sweet. He pretty much tore down an entire Pei Wei with his bare hands. The only shitty part was that he had to work from 9 pm until 9 am. I guess you can't destroy shit with the daywalkers.

So, the NFL's future is in doubt. They may lock out next season. It will be awful. And not just for us, but it's going to put thousands of people out of work. Many of these people are millionaires, so they'll be cool, but many will need to find an alternate source of income.

Brandon Marshall has an idea. He'll just go to the NBA. Well, he won't, but he thinks he is. And everybody's gotta have a dream.

So this got me thinking. What other occupations should NFL players take to make ends meet? Today's shit storm means you take an NFL player, and name what other job he would be good at. If you're going to say someone should play another sport, be specific with team/position/what they bring to the table. But let's try to think outside of the box. Ordinary nine-to-fives are preferred.

My selection is Brian Dawkins is a cowboy (If I can't see it in the NFL, I can imagine this). Basically, because I think Dawkins would be great at bulldogging a steer. He probably wouldn't even use a horse. He would just run up on a steer and wrestle that shit to the ground. I mean, think about it.

This...


doing this...


So yeah. Alternate careers for NFLers. Shit Storm go.

One Shining Moment

American Patriot, Scholar, Flavor aficionado, All-World Badass.

These are some of the many words used to describe the innagural GRH bracket champion.

Joey.

Some of you may not know Joey, many of us however know him quite well.

Not only is he a member of the 500+ rebound club, which places him in the top 25 all time of the SCAC, but he also singlehandedly rebuilt the Mississippi coast following Hurricane Katrina.

Oh and I must mention that he played Jonathan Bender for the title of "Best Basketball Player in Picayune."

Naturally he won.

You see as soon as I saw the words "Alabama State all the way" followed by Joey. I knew this whole thing was over. Icehouse knew the same thing which is probably why he picked Texas to win it all just so he could feel good about his bracket. Hell Stovall saw this as such a foregone conclusion that he didn't even take 20 seconds to fill out a bracket.

Hobbers, I made you think you could win, you thought you had a chance, you thought I'd be writing about you right now. You didn't know what we knew. I misled you. And for that I am truly sorry.

But all is not lost. We had some great bracket names such as "I win so much HAHAHAHAHAHA" (And trust me he does) a personal favorite was "Breakfast Tacos and Glory." Let us also remember "The Ghost of Kenny Powers" because we all know Kenny cares about real sports, and does not want to be the best at exercising. Finally we should also look at "Don't Tase me Hansbrough" who inexplicably predicted the world would end some time around the final four, and the finals would never occur. A bold move to say the least.

But all of that doesn't matter, we are all losers.

Everyone bow down to Joey, because this is his 500+ shining moment.


/Cut down internets