Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Look, you gots to stop calling

[Phone rings]

Hello? Oh hey, I've been meaning to get in touch with you. No, not that kind of 'touch' again.

Look Alana Blanchard, you gotta stop calling me. I don't care that you are "the hottest surfer in the world" according to Trans World Surf magazine.

Yeah, yeah. I know you have the best bottom turns in the business, but I've gotta life here with Julia, and you can't come between us. I've gotta concentrate on what I do, and you need to concentrate on what you do.

Exactly. You're one of the best young surfers in the world. You have your entire career ahead of you. You can't be falling for a guy like me. I mean, you just turned 20. Julia and I are already in our mid-to-late twenties. We're at that stage in our lives. You have entirely too much ahead of you to be... oh come-- come on, I didn't say that. OF COURSE I think you're mature! Don't go barreling out of control.

Look, we had a fun little fling, but it's not worth destroying what I've built with Julia Mancuso. Trust me, if we had met back before... well back before Lindsey Vonn, then we definitely would have been able to shoot the curl together many more times than just that one weekend.

Alana, there you ho again. You don't need to remove clothing for people to respect you. You're going to be a world champ regard... Alana. Alana, calm down. YES I find you beautiful, are you kidding? Yes, I want nothing more than to tear it up again, but life is more... will you let me finish? Life is about more than that! Listen, I'm going to hang up now. Yes. Yeah... Ok, bye bye now.

[Hangs up]

Yikes. That was rough.

[Phone rings]

[Icehouse answers]

Abbey Clancy: Icehouse, Robocrouch has been cheating on me with girls of the night! I need you. I need you like that one night...

Icehouse: Aw. shit.


  1. Shabby Chic BlondeAugust 18, 2010 at 2:00 PM

    She looks so good even I may start watching surfing.

  2. Look man just don't put me in the middle of this.

    I'm done after dealing with Vonn at the Olympics.

  3. What's her phone number...this girl must be heart broken...(Mr. Burns style Excellent)