Thursday, August 19, 2010

CFB Preview

#9 Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University

Offense T-Mobile, Darren Evans, Ryan Williams, Danny Coale, Boykin, DeChristopher

Defense LB Barquell Rivers, CB Rock Carmichael,ROV Davon Morgan

Special Teams Homerism aside, this is the only team that deserves special team accolades. Beamer is smart, in recent years teams have been shitting their pants over blocked kicks that he's started to focus on the return game with great results.

This concludes our analysis of special teams.

Initial thoughts Why don't we call a spade a spade just run the wing-t or singlewing?

Well Holy fucking shit, could the offense be the unit Hokie fans are looking forward to? Will they actually carry us through games? Is this the year we get an offense that actually compliments Bud Foster's defense? Not if Bryan Stinespring has anything to say about it.

I kid, but Stinespring has surely received remotes to his TV head from every VT fan in the world. But not this year, Stiney can't screw this up?

But honestly, the offense needs to roll this year. Everyone is all hot and bothered over the most bourbon backfield in the world. The 100 proof backfield of Evans and Williams. Which is fine, but we know Tech can run the ball, if there's anything Stiney is good at it's coordinating the running game and running power with 30 different variations. But the key will be Tyrod Taylor.

Tyrod made some huge strides last year especially in the TD/INT department. This isn't due to QB coach Mike O'Cain, but we can attribute that to maturity and the WR corps. Danny Coale is essentially a poor man's Jordan Shipley, and the likes of Boykin and Dyrell Roberts are home run threats. Personally I'll miss Sergio Render on the OL but DeChristopher should become the leader this year.

End of the day, Tech's offense is like a loaded gun. It could be really awesome, but as we learn in hunters' safety, never hand a loaded gun to an inexperienced handler.

Basically I'm worried Stinespring could take this magical thing and shoot us all in the nuts.

Like I always say about Tech's defense, it's not really a matter of if they'll be good, but the level of Bud Fosterness which they'll achieve.

But I get it, we only return 4, just hear me out.

DE's Friday and Drager have seen time on the field with the way Wiles rotates the DL. We have Graves, and evidently FR. DT Nick Acree is a manchild. Rivers is the returner at LB (he'll miss the Boise game, but Bruce Taylor is set to back him up and highly touted Jeron Gouvela-Wilson (JGW) will replace Cody Grimm at WHIP /single tear.

We have Davon Morgan at rover, and Carmichael should assume the boundry corner position.

What I'm trying to say is this.

That's Bud Foster wake surfing. We'll be fine.

Tech always tries to schedule at least one legit out of conference opponent. This year we start off with the giant killers from Boise and we have a home and home with Pitt and tOSU in coming years. Reason I mention this is to show that we aren't bitches and to illustrate the fine tradition VT has had in playing national champions early in the year.

2004 VT 13 USC 24 (in a game where I thought we got fucking hosed on some crucial calls. Icehouse can attest to this. I was in his dorm when this occurred)

2007 VT 7 LSU 48

2009 VT 24 Alabama 34

So there you go Boise. The MNC runs through Blacksburg. Unfortunately.

People ask me about the Boise game and honestly I have no fucking idea. This is the way of a Hokie fan. Sometimes we come out and just shit on people, other times we blow. Boise has 10 starters returning and this is essentially their conference championship game. Nobody is going to challenge them in the WAC so if they beat Tech they simply have to do their job, and as I've stated earlier, I think they've done enough to prove that they deserve a shot at the MNC.

But back to Tech. Assuming they don't royally fuck up, which is always a possibility, the key games will come in November. Tech hosts GT, and travels to UNC and Miami in consecutive weeks. They finish out the Month by hosting the fuckstains from Charolettesville in the annual VT-UVA Thanksgiving game for the Fuck you trophy.

Personally, I think Tech will lose one ACC game because the ACC is the most competitive conference in the world. By competitive I don't mean best, or bowl performance. Because teams dont win ACC championships, they simply become ACC champions through a complicated process of elimination.

But at the end of the day there are so many questions.

Does Tyrod become the QB we think he can be?
How exactly will Stinespring fuck this up?
How much do I love Ryan mother fucking Williams?
Can JGW fill the Grimm void?
How many times will I curse the TV?
Will we put together a good offensive AND defensive game?
Beamer: Awesomer or Awesomest?
Bud Foster Idol or Deity?
How many games will Musberger (Hokie cryptonite) announce?
Should I change my official VT bourbon from Wild Turkey to Evan Williams?

These are the questions I face every year.

Welcome to fucking Virginia Tech Football.


  1. Every year, a VT post. Every year, it starts off with the Enter Sandman video. Every year, I'm happy.