Some people just can't let go.

Scene opens. Icehouse is flexing in front of the mirror in his underwear, tumbler full of scotch in hand.

[Click play for soundtrack]


[Phone rings]
Icehouse: What the fuck is up?!

Lindsey Vonn:

Icehouse, I've been thinking about... us.

Icehouse: Oh yeah? Well, we had a good run, but it's better this way. I hear you're doing great, and that you're all healthy coming into the season, so.... you know... good luck and all that.

Lindsey Vonn: Icehouse, wait a second--

Icehouse: No time, baby, I gotta--

Lindsey Vonn: Icehouse, I'm pregnant.

Icehouse: You're WHAT?!

Lindsey Vonn: Well, I'm not, I just wanted you to pay attention to me. I do have something for you, though.

Icehouse: Okaaaaay. It's not going to be anything crazy, is it?

Lindsey Vonn: No, it's... sexy.

Icehouse: Hm. Continue.

Lindsey Vonn: Well, I know how much you love National Lampoon movies, as well as spoofs of police movies, so I--

Icehouse: Dressed up as Kathy Ireland spoofing Sharon Stone in Loaded Weapon 1?

Lindsey Vonn: Oh, um... well, yeah.

How did you guess that?

Icehouse: Instinct, baby. Instinct.

Lindsey Vonn: Well, do you want to come reenact the butt-in-the-moonlight scene?

Icehouse: I'd like to, but I got a prior commitment.

Lindsey Vonn: Well can we at least exchange dirty text messages? It's all the rage these days among athletes.

Icehouse: Ehhh, you can if you want, but remember, I drink a lot and have a blog.

Lindsey Vonn: Oh, how I wish things could work out between u--

Icehouse: Well, I wish I could stay and chat, but it happens to be underwear dance party night here at the Icehousehold. Take it sleazy.

[Hangs up]

Ready baby?



Icehouse: Righteous.

Look, you gots to stop calling

[Phone rings]

Hello? Oh hey, I've been meaning to get in touch with you. No, not that kind of 'touch' again.

Look Alana Blanchard, you gotta stop calling me. I don't care that you are "the hottest surfer in the world" according to Trans World Surf magazine.

Yeah, yeah. I know you have the best bottom turns in the business, but I've gotta life here with Julia, and you can't come between us. I've gotta concentrate on what I do, and you need to concentrate on what you do.

Exactly. You're one of the best young surfers in the world. You have your entire career ahead of you. You can't be falling for a guy like me. I mean, you just turned 20. Julia and I are already in our mid-to-late twenties. We're at that stage in our lives. You have entirely too much ahead of you to be... oh come-- come on, I didn't say that. OF COURSE I think you're mature! Don't go barreling out of control.

Look, we had a fun little fling, but it's not worth destroying what I've built with Julia Mancuso. Trust me, if we had met back before... well back before Lindsey Vonn, then we definitely would have been able to shoot the curl together many more times than just that one weekend.

Alana, there you ho again. You don't need to remove clothing for people to respect you. You're going to be a world champ regard... Alana. Alana, calm down. YES I find you beautiful, are you kidding? Yes, I want nothing more than to tear it up again, but life is more... will you let me finish? Life is about more than that! Listen, I'm going to hang up now. Yes. Yeah... Ok, bye bye now.

[Hangs up]

Yikes. That was rough.

[Phone rings]

[Icehouse answers]


Abbey Clancy: Icehouse, Robocrouch has been cheating on me with girls of the night! I need you. I need you like that one night...

Icehouse: Aw. shit.

Friday Afternoon Fun Bag!

Hmmmm.

Hmmmmmmmm.

Hmmmmmm-wha-hey!

How are y'all doing? Sorry, I just kind of zoned out for a second. Not like it matters though. OK. OK! We ready for the weekend or what? I know I am. It's going to be a good one, that's for sure.

Let's get to the videos.

So I know I've been all over Julia Mancuso for some time now, but check it out. She wins a couple of medals in the Olympics, finishes out the World Cup tour, and then... competes in an extreme skiing competition. Does she get more bad ass? I posit no.


And is it a wonder why white people like Lil' Wayne so much? Just give this a listen. Jim and Pam would be proud.


I meant to post this last week, but we all know how that went. Still awesome.


And what do you do if your nickname is Mo Pete? That's right. Make a Less Pete.


So, over SXSW, Bill Murray was partying with the RZA (which actually happens a lot more than you would think). Then he started bartending. Game for this video: drink every time you see a hipster.


Yes. The sun is shining ALL OVER THE COUNTRY! GO OUTSIDE, ASSBAGS!

Baby, we need to talk...

Lindsey, hey, how are you? Doing ok? Do you need anything? You sure? Ok. You're looking great. It's really great to see you.

Anyway baby, go ahead and take a seat.

Listen, you're a dream. I really do love you. But I just... I just think that what we've had between us has run its course. What? No! Don't be silly. Of course it had nothing to do with that. Baby, if it was... Lindsey, calm down. How could it be about you crashing yesterday, after I've seen you crash dozens of times before?

It's not that, it's just that there's been too much drama. This whole thing, it's taken our lives and turned them upside down. I can't handle the photo shoots, the autograph sessions, the interviews and speculation about your shin, the international travel... actually, scratch that, I like the international travel. But you've become more than just a skier. Do you think I like having some guy ask you to sign your autograph across your cleavage in the swimsuit issue? Do you think I'm comfortable with that? But that wasn't the worst. The worst was when you admitted to me that you don't even go skiing for fun. You've changed, Lindsey. Now it's a business to you, and that breaks my heart.

Like I said, I'll always love you. I will. I just think it's best that we part ways. And...
[sigh]
Yes, there's someone else. How did we-? I met her while you were beefing with Austrians in interviews! While you were getting therapy on your shin! While you were taking pictures in your skivvies! Her name's Julia.

Mancuso, right. How did you guess that? What? You guys know each other?

Oh, right. Well, then you should know. She's more fun. She doesn't take it, or herself, as seriously as you. She still likes skiing for fun, she even went out in the powder that Whistler had a couple of days ago. You work out in the summer, while she goes surfing. She's the one that's going to make me happy, not you.

You'll be fine. I'm sure you'll find someone great. I just hope you find happiness. You're too stern, baby, and that's not what I need in my life. I want to have fun, and you're not giving me that. Now if you'll excuse me, a hot tub is calling my name.

WOOO! Grab Julia's hoots, Chemmy!

Awesome.

Friday Afternoon Fun Bag!

Julia Mancuso knows what it takes to get ready for the Olympics. Boozing in hot tubs for the win. More on her and her heart-stealing ways later.

Yes. YES. Weekend, then the X Games while me and commenter Brian will be in Colorado. It's on like Donkey Kong.

First and foremost, here we have a friend of ours, Tuna, rapping.


Nick Swardson is funny doing anything.

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

JaVale McGee is hilarious. You know, you have to have a sense of humor to play on the Wizards.

(via his twitter feed: @bigdaddywookie)

You gotta love when a really great dunker falls on the receiving end of one. Get some.


And at Lattimer's suggestion, here is a kid that loves him some hoops.


Yes. I'm ready. Done with this week. Ready to party. Let's get it.